Noises

I am often so plugged in to the media that there is seldom quiet in my life. At 5:30 am-1.079 FM rocks into my ear and usually only plays a song or two. I shut it off in order to turn on the morning TV news. I am a news junkie for several reasons. Politics, crime, technology and two wars always make me interested to see the headlines. I remember watching the Columbine footage, the 9/11 event I was in the operating room for eight hours and yet rushed to the recovery room to see what was new. During these moments I am glued to the TV. How many of you remember Baby Jessica? I think she is a mom by now. I also think that some massive change will certaily be historical and I need to be there to witness it. That Sully Sullenberger, who laid the plane in the river-how can I not think him a total stud.

I listen to XM radio in the truck to work, no commercials from classical to techno-depending on my mood and how much wake up the caffeine gave me. At work I check the schedule on computer and then listen to Pandora radio or 101.9 FM from Salt Lake City over the web. Sometimes there is music on in the office and it has to be loud enough to drown out the TV in the waiting room.Oh, I forgot Fox news, CNN or ESPN in my personal office as I answer phones or make notes to my self.

At lunch I eat at the computer and check up on the news. I am amazed at how crime occurs and how people can be so cruel to others. So much misery, it is amazing any of us get along.

When patients are done I complete my clinical notes to alternative music streaming in my speakers. Should a 45 year old love the Foo Fighters as much as I do? To my truck and more XM radio. I love XM and will never be without it if possible. I take back streets and don't care about traffic. I love to boom the concertos of Rossini and Mozart. The classics calm my soul and ease my grip on the wheel. A massage would be perfect after work-ahh, the new age music is soothing that they play.

Back home, dinner and TV news or sports rule the evening. I may read or review email but I seldom sit in the quiet when I get home from work. MASH reruns, travel channel in Kraplakistan......I'll watch. Bed by 11:00pm, the local news starts at 11:oopm in Las vegas and I cannot sleep without knowing what is happening, good or bad. I set my alarm and push sleep mode on my TV remote, Conan O'Brien starts at 11:30 and I can't miss his monologue. I seldom get through the first half hour of Conan and drift off to sleep, my earpiece to my police scanner ready to go in one ear if insomnia shows up. White noise-relaxing with the possibility of a cool car chase or crazy event. The fade to black rolls in and it seems only like seconds and the alarm rocks loudly and it is time to start the cycle again. Only tonight I wake up in the middle of the night and realize I am dreaming that I am totally overstimulated.

The Bhuddists are so correct about the power of thought in a quiet and calm mind. I have to fight the noise in my life. I have to work daily for quiet moments in my life. Little kids rule in the office all day long, loud noise and rattling of toys, as well as endless parental conversation and teaching should make me crave quiet and calm. I think some of us are afraid of the quiet. Afraid of not knowing the newest breaking news. I love to sneak outside at lunch with a book, sit in the sun or the car and read. I love to read and enjoy the stage of my imagination, rather than the big or small screen. I'm reading around 400 pages a week. Really, devouring books-not novels, non-fiction about history and people of quality. In fact, I think it is time to turn off the TV and go read......in silence. If I can shut off my racing mind.