Cool Summer Army Mission Bavaria

Judging the Beggar

In summer 2004 I was in Central America on a two week humanitarian dental service mission. It was very well done and yes, put on by the finest dental company in the Army Reserve, the 143rd, out of Salt Lake City, Utah. In Golfito, Costa Rica on a rainy cool morning I had a special interaction that made my trip, and kept my idea of how kindness should look from behind the eyes of this spoiled American. I say spoiled because I complain and think I suffer, I don't!

I was in line with jeeps and trucks on the way out of town to examine kids in public schools and take out abscessed teeth. I was in the back of a jeep with a small plastic top with another dentist talking about life and contemplating the beauty of the rainforest. From the corner of my eye I saw movement from under a patio on the cafe side of the station.

A 20'ish latin male had been sleeping or out of the weather and he looked dirty and tired. He had long hair, had not showered and looked ragged. He had a palsy and looked as if he had a fetal brain injury or had mild cerebral palsy. He walked up to me and said two words, Colonnes Gringo?

I should tell you that I cashed 750.00 American into Costa Rican Colonnes in Houston. I always keep money to assist people who paid bus fare to stand in line for hours to see a foreign dentist who will take them out of pain. I always over prepare for trips and go home with too many souveneirs. Back to the encounter. I pulled out a coin worth 100 Colonnes and gave it to him, he said thank you. As he hurried across the street toward a store, the friend next to me named Dave stated that " that guy will go buy alcohol with that"! I did not think about it as we moved one more vehicle up in line, one government credit card = one gas pump for five trucks.

I saw this young man walk back toward us and he had a banana or a plantain in both pockets and was pushing one in his mouth as if he was very hungry. I looked at Dave and thought. alcohol? I would have said "look" but did not need to,we both saw him, big smile on his face.

He walked over and in Spanish thanked me again. I got an interpreter, got out of the vehicle and talked with him for a minute or so. I pulled out several 1000 Colonnes bills and gave him a few bills. While standing in the mist, he took the money and held my hand and said "Gracias, gracias, gracias"! He then hugged me and then clung to me and fell to his knees and held on for a moment or two. I was in full BDU uniform in a gas station, this must have looked very odd. He stepped up and crawled back under to his space under the patio. I do not know who watched or cared- the only words I heard later were that I was "crazy, foolish and wasting my money'.

We got back in and drove away. I could smell the body odor, it was pungent. I knew I did not have a washing machine but I did have shampoo and a pool at the hotel, at the end of the day. As the day went on I got used to the smell of the nameless man. I could not get him off my mind and two days later had a chance to go back to the gas station in Golfito, I wanted a photo next to this man who taught me a profound lesson. No luck.

I wrote about this experience in depth that night. I washed off the smell and moved on in my life. I came back to plumbing and kids and abundant living. I pondered about the man, the fruit and wondered if I could have done more. I had the cash, I had the intent for spontaneous kindness and I could have cared less what he bought with it. Bananas or food in general OK, but the gift came when my heart and mind made the decision to share. The Colonnes bought him a meal and then several more. I have paid full tuition for several hours of long lost information. I spent well the day I chose to give money to this guy. I learned a profound lesson from him about gratitude. Dollar for dollar- a superb lesson in life. Alcohol or food, the lesson was for me. The best souvenir I brought home was a memory........and a lesson to remind me that the greatest things in life are not things. Trust, charity, non-judgement =skillful living. Blessings wherever you are young man. I hope you are pain free, warm, fed and loved.

Bleeding to Death From a Thousand Paper Cuts

The statement, "Bleeding to death from a thousand paper cuts" is something that I have thought of often in the last while. While I realize it is not the big things that get us, it is the additive nature of the little things that can make us suffer the most. I have witnessed the challenges of the economy in 2009 through unique glasses. For example: A bankruptcy attorney in Las Vegas has commercials showing the people so happy that they declared bankruptcy with Frank. I heard a six year old child tell his mom to "do bankruptcy with Frank" when she said they were not going on vacation this year. Simple, spontaneous and innocent. I see children who routinely watch media that is too far advanced and socially inappropriate for them. The consequences are entitlement, disrespect and unrealistic views of social interaction. The long term issues may be severe in many cases. It is not the knockout blow, it is the details that catch us like body punches and wear us out.
I wonder as I drive and observe people, if they are satisfied with life, comfortable or suffering. I seek simplicity and quiet in my life. My life is a gift and as I see it I should be accountable and sensible. Why would I even think that credit card debt would even be a okay thing? Why is it so difficult to live within our means? Why don't we save more and pay cash for what we buy? I believe that Americans often feel that nothing bad will ever happen to them. It does, and in many ways like a hurricane or slowly like making minimum payments on a credit card. When jobs lay off workers or health problems arise- the paper cuts continue and we know we are bleeding, but the bleeding is not so bad, it will stop soon. Then the flu hits and a week is missed off work, followed by need for a new washer or transmission. The sense of being out of balance comes and more paper cuts slice us up. They aren't that deep, "they always heal" rolls through our mind. Not me, I'm fine! Are we ever sure?
When we get out of balance, we either seek to get balance back or give up, adapt to chaos and run from our challenges. This is unskilled living. I have belief that if we face up to small challenges that we have control over daily, we will have fewer of the insults that can defeat our fighting spirit. When we get down it is easy to turn to drugs or alcohol, which cost money and make the problems worse. They are classic avoidance mechanisms-what do we have to avoid if we work smartly to stay ahead of bills and have surplus in case of emergency. This sounds harsh to many I am sure. It is common sense and yet so painful for many to even think about. There are many things that will make us uncomfortable that we truly don't have to suffer about. Suffering is truly optional.
I have wondered how much time and energy I have spent worrying rather than helping myself. I am positive that thousands of dollars have gone to interest on loans and credit cards. Now as I look at it I would never choose to pay that again, ever. If I want to change I should start by seeking balance and frugality. My goal in the practice of dentistry for children is to educate and have parents prevent oral problems. Their best dental insurance is education, daily work and saying no to their child's unhealthy food and drink choices. Prevention of any problem is far grander than any repair! The small good choice adds up just like the small bad one. Making the daily effort to pay attention and not stick our heads in the sand is skillful living. (Thanks Dave S.)
If you are down, start by focusing on what make you down. Sit quietly and focus on details. Write down what can change our look and approach to difficult circumstances. What will prevent rather than create the little problems that add up to huge things. Then if by chance we get ahead, stay ahead and live with gratitude. The big things we often focus our fear on are always there. It may be time to pay attention to the little things that can drag us down....like a thousand paper cuts.

U2 In Las Vegas

I had the opportunity to attend the U2 concert last night in Las Vegas. I had the true blessing of benefitting from a great friend's generosity and kindness. I went with Jeff and two of his other friends and we had perfect seats for the show. My week had been a challenge and I felt very tightly wound after a two hour meeting with my accountants Friday morning. I needed to smile badly and feel the tension drop from my body.

The Black Eyed Peas were the warm up band and I did not know one song they sang for sure. They totally rocked. I mean they rocked!. I was all smiles from their music and I ended up familiar with most of the songs. The energy and rhythms with the chanting and rap portions were cool. During the break a pizza and beverage shows up- when Jeff quietly left. He is always far more giving than he ever recieves. A drunk woman a few rows back threw up and emptied rows of people. Loneliness defined, even her date walked away. It did not hit us thank goodness. What an event to miss due to being hammered. I watched as Metro arrested her and a janitorial crew came and cleaned it up. I will never, ever belittle a person who withstands the humiliation of cleaning up puke with angry concertgoers pushing to get into their seats for U2.

The spaceship stage lit up and Bono, The Edge, Adam and Larry stepped on stage and the rock began. This was a moving and beautiful show. Who is bigger than u2? Who is bigger than Bono? He is the ultimate showman and he never even said his name. He complimented his band mates and distinguished guests. He appears humble and complimentary. He is an amazing showman. I would love to meet him, to talk with him and meet a man who has incredible talent and who is a megastar that stays humble and gentle. He works endlessly for the people and the peace of the world and truly make things better. It was almost a religious experience-truly magnificent!

When they played "The City of Blinding Lights" it was beautiful! I had tears in my eyes because a year ago I moved to a city of blinding lights. Nothing has been easy here. I have been away from Denny-the one I love.( I wish she had been with me). I have truly been tested in a way I never dreamed of especially with this crazy economy. But last night I was smiling, I was dancing and very relaxed and happy. It was incredible! It was the fifth time I have seen U2. The first was in Washington DC with Jeff and my brother Scott. I thought that was also beyond words. Now 17 years later our lives have changed and we have aged. U2 has continued to entertain and change lives in the world. With great kindness and thought- Jeff changed my day and gave me a chance to smile and dance the night away. What band is bigger than U2? Come to think of it, Bono is big- so is Jeff.