How We Show Up for Ourselves and Others

I am an observer of people. I often stand amazed at the plethora of ways that we human being choose to show up for everyday life. I am also a news junkie and read several news sites daily. Some people read the news or hear the TV news and choose to turn from it and dismiss it as not important in their lives. I on the other hand read details even if they are going to be painful or depressing. I want to know why the European Union is unstable financially or how a Mohammar Ghaddafi spent his last minutes on the planet. I constantly am seeking cultural literacy and understanding of how history develops on a daily basis. I often ask forgiveness and do not claim to be anywhere near perfect.

Being a pediatric dentist, soldier, clinical instructor in a residency program I get a wide exposure to a variety of adults and children. Short of witnessing a child's head swivel fully on their shoulders I feel I have seen just about everything. When I really think about it, I realize I have not even close to experienced the strangest of the strange. I live in Las Vegas and people watching is interesting here. In fact, more interesting than most places in the U.S. Some friends and colleauges have asked me often if I moved to Las Vegas because I lost my mind or needed to party my life away. I came for business opportunity and sunny weather.

What the hecklers don't often know is that the true Las Vegas is not measured by the media or the city advertising campaign "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". Las Vegas is not just the strip or a drunken madhouse. It is home to at least a million hard working people. The sad global economic news in the past years, for many has just been about the other guy, somewhere else. I moved to Las Vegas in 2008 and started a dental practice from scratch. I was at the unknowingly at the precipice of disaster for the economy and worse for Las Vegas. Recession has been brutal here, much worse than most places in the United States. In 2008, I did not see the bad news coming and blindly moved forward expecting success, like my previous business building experience. Oh how arrogant I was. I was positive it would be instant practice growth.

Now in 2011 the news is depressing still. Many fortunes have been lost and for many they may not recover. Thousands have lost their homes and jobs. As my business grew slowly, I suffered from unrealistic expectations and was humbled like many others. I have been at intersections with three people with signs working for spare change. My wife was in a consignment store looking at furniture and overheard a woman with a large and beautiful bed frame to be placed for sale. The seller then asked the store owner to be generous with her offer on the bed-as she was "starving to death". My lovely Denny wanted to give to her or hug her or do something kind for her. My wife is new to Vegas and was shocked at the conversation and the plea. I have heard it many times and have witnessed in the sadness. I care for many of the disabled children and teens in Vegas. I see the program cuts and the benefits go away far faster than they come. I talk often with parents of disabled children and families that live in poverty. Families that are seeking a better life for kids, filled with love, opportunity and abundance. These families have wonderful, creative and kids that want to be cool. I also see the mom and dad that work three jobs and are the ones who keep Las Vegas running, doing the jobs that get low pay and no glamour. I have for sure enjoyed most of the people I have worked with and met here in Las Vegas. I love that people can be just people. It is a community of all types of people from all over the world. I like that judgement seems much less than my previous city of residence. I am proud to have learned to let go of how people look and what they wear. I want to know how people in my life FEEL. I want to never assume that a 6'4 former prison guard in New York, covered with tattoos is anything other than a wonderful person and loves his family. I want to treat each person with kindness and respect as well as give goodness at each opportunity.

I beg of each of you, wherever you live to judge others less harshly. Please never forget that humans are inherently good and want good living.

I will always look at my time in Vegas as one excellent education. I have found wonderful people of all races and personalities. I feel calm here and love my job. As the unknowns in the world add up, I am sure of one thing. That is that relationships matter, people matter and we should never be charitable with the desire of reciprocation. Let our good deeds go on with no string attached. If people in our lives do not bring value to our lives, their absence will not matter. Do not throw people away for we never know when we may be begging for mercy.

Deer Hunting With Dick Cheever

Every year as fall rolls around and the weather cools down, it is my favorite time of year. With the leaves changing color and college football consuming my hours when not fly fishing or at work. I am always excited as fall approaches. I know that deer and elk season is coming soon. The memories of hunting with my father Richard Cheever are some of the most wonderful childhood to adult moments in my life. Now as I see my dad aging and his mind slipping I wax nostalgic every time deer season comes close. I know where my dad wants to be for two weeks in October. I want to be there with him, badly!

My dad worked and worked to support his family. Never a wealthy man, he owned an auto body shop and rebuilt mostly wrecked Corvettes. He would work late into the evening hours to keep up with his customers needs. A kind and quiet man he would give selfless service to his church and family. He was known as Dick as a young man and I have heard stories over and over about his hunting trips with his father and brothers. Like the story about the young man who accidentally shot his brother- in- law deep in the pines. My uncle took the body out on the horse and never hunted a day in his life again. He saw enough death in WWII from Utah Beach to Berlin. I heard the story of the night the mountain lion killed the doe behind camp as well as the story where my father prayed for a chance to see a deer. He had his petition to the heavens answered. The history he shared is endless and should be written down for posterity. The lessons and experiences are precious and some are just funny, truly adventures of questionable judgement in the woods.

About three days before the deer hunt began you could see a change in Richard. A quicker step, the gun inspected and stuff starting to be gathered up. He was always clean shaven until the hunt and I watched as his beard went grayer with every trip in the fall He was my hero and the best shot in the world-"Deadeye Dick". The day before we would leave to the "spot", I could not sleep and was excited. Dad would be on the phone and hunting buddies would stop by to make sure the trip was on as planned. The night before we left was always a trip to the store for food and treats. I got to get what I craved and always had plenty of junk to eat. I got the stuff my mom never bought. Hostess fruit pies and candy bars were plentiful. He bought fruit and many canned goods. I never saw a pot or pan in camp, it was a can of soup or chili on the fire. He stacked the Kippered Snacks deep in the cart. I later wondered if the deer could sense the potent smell of the fish.

If it snowed we were on hold to see about going and yet we always went. He would plow up the road rain or shine because for one two week period, deer hunting became an obsession for my dad. The old canvas tent would go up and the WWII surplus sleeping bag would come out. If we arrived in the day or the evening camp was up and we laughed and shared as the real world was far away from Dairy Fork, also known as the "spot". I learned much from being a boy scout, my dad did his best to change my conservative mind. If the fire needed to be started, he would tear out whole bushes of sagebrush. He would send us hunting for firewood and from a distance I could see the can of paint thinner being poured in the fire pit and like a magician, the flames would suddenly be eight feet high and we had a fire! We sat around the fire and again I wondered as I was older if I had a better chance of seeing deer without the flaming inferno lit by my dad.

When bed time came-there was little sleep. An occasional toot and some hardcore snoring inside the old tent. I can still smell that old tent. My dad always took his kids, and I am sure the noise and unskilled behavior we had lessened his chances of seeing deer. For that I will always be thankful. Maybe he had to take one or two of us as a deal with my mom. I am sure she enjoyed he calm in her life during the hunt.

Upon waking it was always cold in the mountains if Utah and took some warming up to start hiking up the canyons. I had my pack loaded the night before and had red and later bright orange layers to pull of as the day warmed. The line of hunters and stragglers left the truck and started up the finger like ridges of the canyon. The goal was to be on the shale as daylight came. The views were great and my dad was glassing the pines and the aspens across the canyon. He had his 270 that he built in gun smithing school leaning against a branch. I was a Mauser 8mm action form WWII with a custom barrel and walnut stock. It was the ultimate joy to watch my dad raise the rifle and scope out any suspected animal. He did not hunt for Huge bucks, he liked them but he hunted for meat, but even more for the joy of the hunt. The stories would continue on the mountain and so would the junk food and the glassing. This was his greatest joy, to have a chance to see something and to get a shot at it. Dick was good with his rifle and seldom came home without meat for the freezer. I saw the rifle raise and saw the deer stepping down out of the trees. It was a near sure thing when he fired his hand loaded bullet through the high country air. When he had a kid who had a permit and a rifle- he always would calm and coach and give the first shot to the newbie.

On Sunday, he would hunt but usually sleep later from fatigue and then hit the hills. He would move out with the conviction that the Lord still loved him and that once a year, the sabbath could be a day in the hills. Year after year he was the same man with simple patterns around the time of the hunt. He acted young and cheerful in the mountains, never angry if he did not succeed. He was complimentary of the hunter who did score and kind to help those who had trouble in the mountains. Dick was not a gadget guy, he was frugal and not a show off. He was a trickster and made us laugh with his funny stories.

I now hunt with custom rifles and range finders. I sleep warm and wake up warm, usually in a lodge. He has not been hunting for six years. I miss those days, the days of hunting with "Wild man Dick" as his boys called him. From crashing through a small creek in his truck in a blizzard to filling both of our tags because he knew I would not be angry. Oh and of course, never forget the time he killed a 3 point with his pants unbuckled, because nature called. Richard Cheever- you taught me the joy of deer hunting, you will be missed this fall. You are loved!

Dinner at Bouchon

I had the pleasure of enjoying a meal at Thomas Keller's restaurant Bouchon in Las Vegas on Saturday. The dining experience was truly a pleasure as I was joined by my beautiful fiancee Denny and her son Nick. I have been t0 Bouchon for lunch two years ago and by chance got a dinner reservation for an early dinner. Let me say.....wonderful, flavorful and sublime!

Marinated olives and wonderful bread to start. The service was excellent and the patio on a perfect night added to the experience. Every detail was attended to even down to the water and butter. I had Snake River Pork Lon with a Pear Emulsion. The sauce was the star of the meal and made the beans and pork beyond words. Denny had French Onion soup and I being a bit turned off by onion, loved the soup. Perfect presentation and flavor. Denny and Nick had the Steak frittes and the fries were fried to perfection in peanut oil. The crunch and the texture were unmatched. The steak was tender and flavorful. Few time has food and company combined for such a good evening.

The dessert menu was a no lose proposition. I wanted the Lemon Tart. Denny had Creme Brulee and Nick had three brownies with salted caramel ice cream with toffee. May I say I was not disappointed at all. If you go to Bouchon, skip the salad and wait for dessert. The texture of the creme brulee was perfect! Nothing I have had in the past touches the flavor and texture of the creme. I will return to the Venetian as it is a beautiful hotel. But I will truly long for a return to Bouchon and the best meal I have had in many, many months. Good work Thomas Keller! Your vision and creative approach to food made from scratch did not disappoint. It was incredible!

Parents and Children

I work all day with children. As a Pediatric Dentist I meet all kind of children and parents. Some kids are little and some are much larger than I am. Some scream and others are calm and stoic. I take each patient encounter as a new challenge and seek to stay out of judgement. Honestly, I seldom look at my own parenting and wonder what will become of my own kids. Brian and Amy are good kids and I have had few problems with them. The highlight of my life was the birth process and the love that grew as infants for them that has not died down. If I had to grade my parenting I would probably not be very happy. I have made many efforts that were a stretch and seem truly selfless for them. I am nowhere near perfect! I smile when I see photos of them in the waves in Maui, the grand canal in Venice or in New York City. They are my legacy and I wish them well in their journey. I love them.

I found this piece about parenting and thought I would share it.

" If I had my Child to Raise Over Again"- by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise over again,

I would finger paint more and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting,

and more connecting.

I would take my eye off my watch,

and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less,

and know to care more.

I would take more hikes,

and fly more kites.

I would stop playing serious,

and seriously play.

I would run through more fields,

and gaze at more stars.

I would do more hugging,

and far less tugging.

I would be firm less often,

and affirm much more.

I would build self-esteem first,

and build on the house later.

I would teach less about the love of power,

and teach more about the power of love.

My kids are a definite work in progress. I can look at them now and guide them when they let me. As adults I must allow them to think for themselves. My influence is limited by school and popularity. I am very comfortable in my place right now. I look at the little ones in my life daily and more often than not, I silently pray for them to have calm and peace. Some have little chance-based on the social situation alone. After 17 years of seeing kids grow and parents live their lives, the great thing is the number of times I have been happily suprised to see children succeed beyond my dreams. The sweetness of success is a constant reminder that the power of the mind is endless. Never stop believing that good things can occur. That concept that great people can come from all circumstances is the best part of my job!

My Frustration with the World

As I watch the daily news, some ideas are never adequately addressed and must be on every thinking persons mind. I honestly do not know which biased news organization to believe. I know why the press is stepping carefully, there are some items that nobody wants to talk about. They don't want political or religious retribution.

I know one thing for sure. We need to get out of Afghanistan! It is not a winnable conflict and unless we are willing to go to lengths that the Russians and British would not go, we should stop. What do we do with the hellhole and it's stone age inhabitants with a victory anyway?Bring the troops home and stop spending billions of dollars on this conflict. The people of Afghanistan can fight each other. The Taliban can move on and they can work out their problems. The smart Afghanis left the country years ago. In fact the whole Islamic world can continue to be a Wasps nest of fanaticism and chaos. We can come home and let us take care of ourselves and reward quality citizens and countries that seek peace. Why bomb Libya? Why not cross over into Pakistan and do some real damage? Why, why, why?

Fundamental Islam is spreading. Islam is THE problem of the century! If you take away the internet, the news channels, and oil- they fall back to primitive and uneducated followers of a violent political idealogy/religion. Why are they the only religion blowing stuff up- over and over and over. If some Catholics of Baptists even blew up one bus or flew one plane into a building the world would be shocked. The fact is nearly all killing in the name of "God" is from Islam. IF you want to see the scorecard loop up the website titled "The Religion of Peace". I am not saying all Islamic people are wicked. If you support honor killing, you are just screwed in the head! Most people want all of the same things- peace, shelter, family and love. The recipe for fundamentalism however is present and any discouraged person can take a one way trip to paradise. And take several innocent people with them. Seventy-two virgins? Really?

The treatment of women in this world still amazes me as well. Why do so many see women as second class? Women are wonderful and deserve the same rights for being human as any man. I wonder how this planet would be if the women ruled and men worked to make the whole planet better. I think we all need to act locally at improving the planet. When we tell our children that one religion is the ONLY truth and we cannot take criticism. We are set up to have fanatical behavior. My definition of a fanatic is a person who doubles their speed when they do not know where they are going.

The world cannot accept calculated wasting of human lives. Read the book entitled "Murder City" by Charles Bowden. It will blow your mind and you will see how twisted the "truth" can become. In Ciudad Juarez, Mexico murder and silent terror is the only way of life. It is truly tragic when killing and death fog the streets of once a large and wonderful city. Corruption is on all sides and truth becomes the first major casualty of war. We hear the news and it is always biased, whether Fox or CNN- one has to sort out the nuggets of reality and see if we can believe it. We need to be educated and understand that our world is changing and changing fast. Sharia law cannot be allowed to dictate the behavior of a subset of Islamic Americans. It doesn't work and if you don't like it go home. Go back to your" hard to find a book and an air conditioner" place you came from and then look objectively at America. Our constitution is hanging and really stretched. It becomes a problem when a religion becomes a powerful and deceitful political party. The US constitution must be defended and supported. If one portion changes for Islam, what else changes?

Seek peace in your own world, within your own homes. There is a time to take a stand and I am at that point and well beyond. I want change! I want congressional term limits and I want my fellow soldiers home! I look forward to a time when every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Chr"ist is Lord and Savior. I also know there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth in "Craplakistan and in the rest of the Islamic world. Islam is the major problem on planet earth. Just ask the Japanese how much looting they had after the earthquake- zero! They respect themselves and their countrymen. Islamic persons would steal the place blind. Tell me I am lying! Take a look and live. Stop blowing people up! In fact stop the threats-grow up!

Wonderful American Samoa

I seldom find myself speechless. This past week I have been speechless many times. I am in American Samoa providing dental care for the good soldiers of the U. S. Army Reserve. I knew Samoa would be tropical and beautiful. My expectations have been more than exceeded. On this small island in the South Pacific, I found myself pondering just how diverse this planet really is. Looking at the globe, I am on a speck of an island in the south pacific and the vast ocean is on every side. This idea makes this place feel a bit isolated and at the mercy of the sea if nature gets angry. Especially when the largest earthquake ever to occur in Japan occurs and the tsunami warnings are very, very real. These people respect the power of the oceans and the earth. The natural beauty has been incredible. The food has been far above expectations in freshness and in portions. For a Las Vegas resident the humidity is refreshing and the rainstorms breathtaking.

The most incredible part of this experience is the people. Strong and quiet, truly noble people. I see the Samoan soldiers who went to Iraq and lost at least ten soldiers in combat- ten warrior brothers gone! Many more were wounded and scarred from stepping into a hell that I know well. I have observed these people from a limited distance and I am fascinated and honored to serve their soldiers as well as be a quest on the island. There was one bean counter who came to push "Army Efficiency" and his arrogance was mind blowing . I had been told that Samoa had an amazing blowhole. It is a hole in the rock, at a spot where water spouts 60 feet high when the tide is right. I did not know the Samoan blowhole had such competition. Otherwise the mission has been a great success. General Chang had a great vision to assist the care of these men and women. The soldiers are great patients to work with from the standpoint of this dentist. The smallest service has been appreciated and the kindness as well as gratitude has been beyond my vision until experienced.

Part of me could leave the news, politics and American insanity-and just dump it all for island life. The other part knows I will still go home and never stop traveling or dreaming. I will tke home stories and sights that humble me. I spoke in depth with a soldier who was injured with an IED in Iraq. He told me about when they were hit. He checked on his guys and one was dying and had his lower body blown apart and lost his life. This strong soldier provided care to the wounded as well as returning home injured. Sgt A's life will never be the same. He accompanied his fallen comrade home to his family in Samoa for burial. Noble and final for the dead with no time to say goodbye. Time to rebuild and cherish life for the living.

I get some time to search and snorkel this week and I will take photos by the dozens. I sat in a isolated lagoon and in the dark watched the waves crash. I felt the Samoan waves wash away my stress and sadness. I was speechless and emotional at my fortune to be here with my brother Scott and friends.

Samoa is not perfect, no place ever is. But to judge or mock would be foolish without further investigation. I have respect for men who will take a pot and water to the beach and get the food from the ocean. They brought no other food and we ate crab and lobster in the dark. That was faith in a true sense. I was optimistic- they knew. I will cherish my stay. I will never forget the spirit of these noble and wonderful people.

On to the Japan earthquake aftermath. I cannot imagine the plight of those great people. The disaster is still unfolding as I type. The tsunami warning has been lifted in Samoa. The island closed on Friday and most stayed away from the water. They got hit by a tsunami in 2009. They respect the power of the ocean. We were hit with a surge but not damaging. I guess this has been a week of ups and downs. I will now sleep after a wonderful barbeque and snorkeling in perfect water. In Heaven-also known as American Samoa.

Thanksgiving: The day before Black friday

As I ponder the upcoming holidays I am always amazed at what we actually celebrate and how we do it. Take Easter, a great reason for Christians to celebrate the Resurrection Of Christ. But then where exactly did the easter bunny come from? I think you get where I am going here. The true meanings of holidays get skewed by humans and their quirks. I, personally have always loved Thanksgiving! As a holiday, the concept seemed correct, wonderful and tasty to me. The time to spend time with family and friends and then eat like a pig and watch football. It may disappoint some of you, but feel it is a perfect concept for a holiday. Gratitude and food! Thanks and giving, the perfect reasons to celebrate! If the Detroit Lions would start winning games it might make it slightly better. Not knowing that the football game on TV is over in the first five minutes.

Holiday expectations cause people to do all kinds of things to get to the turkey dinner- fly, drive and take days off work and school (for a turkey dinner). I see the lines of people getting felt up by TSA employees to get home on the news and I am glad to be in my chair. I do feel that the pull and enjoyment of being with others is the true positive of Thanksgiving. What? A holiday focused on gratitude and family- has the government of the United States lost its mind? Take one other holiday for example. Columbus Day is surely a farce- he discovered the Island of Hispanola, known today as Haiti and the Dominican Republic. Why would we celebrate that? If Columbus truly "discovered: America- how do the thousands who were already here feel about that? The legacy of "Manifest Destiny" and the wholesale destruction of the American Indian is regrettable and still the terrible question. WHY? ARROGANCE AND RELIGION-THAT'S WHY. We all need to seek to understand history so that we do not repeat it. Ignorance is comfortable for many of us and yet the Pilgrims did no good for the indigenous peoples of the Americas. What are they thankful for? Annexation, reservations and demonization as a people? Were they savages or a civilization that had survived for centuries doing just fine on their own? Wounded knee was a massacre and yet 25 U.S. Soldiers received the Medal of Honor for killing 338 people who would not stop dancing the "ghost dance" in hope of a messiah to rescue their people. Pilgrims? Manifest destiny?

I look at the "truth" according to how I was raised and realize that we all know shades of the truth. We may be completely incorrect. The internet gives instant information and yet is it true information? I will bet that the Indians were not that happy to have the first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims. They had everything to lose. We still portray the first holiday as a cooperative dinner- I will bet the concept is fantasy or close to it.

We should eat, we should meet and Okay- watch football. We also need a reason to make pumpkin pie once a year. I would suggest that we seek to act correctly toward all people we encounter. DO seek to know the lessons of history and DO seek to be better than previous generations. Seek to be compassionate and show gratitude. If you don't see family and friends face to face this season, get on the phone and tell people they are loved or forgiven-do not wait to be thankful for all you have. Gratitude is a good reason to celebrate even if the history that gives the backstory is fantasy! Look on any street, in any school or hospital and you can see far more difficult challenges than you face -be thankful it isn't you-today. Go Lions! Stay warm in the Target parking lot tonight- I will be asleep from my overeating!