Combat Dentist

How We Show Up for Ourselves and Others

2011-10-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

I am an observer of people. I often stand amazed at the plethora of ways that we human being choose to show up for everyday life. I am also a news junkie and read several news sites daily. Some people read the news or hear the TV news and choose to turn from it and dismiss it as not important in their lives. I on the other hand read details even if they are going to be painful or depressing. I want to know why the European Union is unstable financially or how a Mohammar Ghaddafi spent his last minutes on the planet. I constantly am seeking cultural literacy and understanding of how history develops on a daily basis. I often ask forgiveness and do not claim to be anywhere near perfect.

Being a pediatric dentist, soldier, clinical instructor in a residency program I get a wide exposure to a variety of adults and children. Short of witnessing a child's head swivel fully on their shoulders I feel I have seen just about everything. When I really think about it, I realize I have not even close to experienced the strangest of the strange. I live in Las Vegas and people watching is interesting here. In fact, more interesting than most places in the U.S. Some friends and colleauges have asked me often if I moved to Las Vegas because I lost my mind or needed to party my life away. I came for business opportunity and sunny weather.

What the hecklers don't often know is that the true Las Vegas is not measured by the media or the city advertising campaign "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". Las Vegas is not just the strip or a drunken madhouse. It is home to at least a million hard working people. The sad global economic news in the past years, for many has just been about the other guy, somewhere else. I moved to Las Vegas in 2008 and started a dental practice from scratch. I was at the unknowingly at the precipice of disaster for the economy and worse for Las Vegas. Recession has been brutal here, much worse than most places in the United States. In 2008, I did not see the bad news coming and blindly moved forward expecting success, like my previous business building experience. Oh how arrogant I was. I was positive it would be instant practice growth.

Now in 2011 the news is depressing still. Many fortunes have been lost and for many they may not recover. Thousands have lost their homes and jobs. As my business grew slowly, I suffered from unrealistic expectations and was humbled like many others. I have been at intersections with three people with signs working for spare change. My wife was in a consignment store looking at furniture and overheard a woman with a large and beautiful bed frame to be placed for sale. The seller then asked the store owner to be generous with her offer on the bed-as she was "starving to death". My lovely Denny wanted to give to her or hug her or do something kind for her. My wife is new to Vegas and was shocked at the conversation and the plea. I have heard it many times and have witnessed in the sadness. I care for many of the disabled children and teens in Vegas. I see the program cuts and the benefits go away far faster than they come. I talk often with parents of disabled children and families that live in poverty. Families that are seeking a better life for kids, filled with love, opportunity and abundance. These families have wonderful, creative and kids that want to be cool. I also see the mom and dad that work three jobs and are the ones who keep Las Vegas running, doing the jobs that get low pay and no glamour. I have for sure enjoyed most of the people I have worked with and met here in Las Vegas. I love that people can be just people. It is a community of all types of people from all over the world. I like that judgement seems much less than my previous city of residence. I am proud to have learned to let go of how people look and what they wear. I want to know how people in my life FEEL. I want to never assume that a 6'4 former prison guard in New York, covered with tattoos is anything other than a wonderful person and loves his family. I want to treat each person with kindness and respect as well as give goodness at each opportunity.

I beg of each of you, wherever you live to judge others less harshly. Please never forget that humans are inherently good and want good living.

I will always look at my time in Vegas as one excellent education. I have found wonderful people of all races and personalities. I feel calm here and love my job. As the unknowns in the world add up, I am sure of one thing. That is that relationships matter, people matter and we should never be charitable with the desire of reciprocation. Let our good deeds go on with no string attached. If people in our lives do not bring value to our lives, their absence will not matter. Do not throw people away for we never know when we may be begging for mercy.

Deer Hunting With Dick Cheever

2011-10-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

Every year as fall rolls around and the weather cools down, it is my favorite time of year. With the leaves changing color and college football consuming my hours when not fly fishing or at work. I am always excited as fall approaches. I know that deer and elk season is coming soon. The memories of hunting with my father Richard Cheever are some of the most wonderful childhood to adult moments in my life. Now as I see my dad aging and his mind slipping I wax nostalgic every time deer season comes close. I know where my dad wants to be for two weeks in October. I want to be there with him, badly!

My dad worked and worked to support his family. Never a wealthy man, he owned an auto body shop and rebuilt mostly wrecked Corvettes. He would work late into the evening hours to keep up with his customers needs. A kind and quiet man he would give selfless service to his church and family. He was known as Dick as a young man and I have heard stories over and over about his hunting trips with his father and brothers. Like the story about the young man who accidentally shot his brother- in- law deep in the pines. My uncle took the body out on the horse and never hunted a day in his life again. He saw enough death in WWII from Utah Beach to Berlin. I heard the story of the night the mountain lion killed the doe behind camp as well as the story where my father prayed for a chance to see a deer. He had his petition to the heavens answered. The history he shared is endless and should be written down for posterity. The lessons and experiences are precious and some are just funny, truly adventures of questionable judgement in the woods.

About three days before the deer hunt began you could see a change in Richard. A quicker step, the gun inspected and stuff starting to be gathered up. He was always clean shaven until the hunt and I watched as his beard went grayer with every trip in the fall He was my hero and the best shot in the world-"Deadeye Dick". The day before we would leave to the "spot", I could not sleep and was excited. Dad would be on the phone and hunting buddies would stop by to make sure the trip was on as planned. The night before we left was always a trip to the store for food and treats. I got to get what I craved and always had plenty of junk to eat. I got the stuff my mom never bought. Hostess fruit pies and candy bars were plentiful. He bought fruit and many canned goods. I never saw a pot or pan in camp, it was a can of soup or chili on the fire. He stacked the Kippered Snacks deep in the cart. I later wondered if the deer could sense the potent smell of the fish.

If it snowed we were on hold to see about going and yet we always went. He would plow up the road rain or shine because for one two week period, deer hunting became an obsession for my dad. The old canvas tent would go up and the WWII surplus sleeping bag would come out. If we arrived in the day or the evening camp was up and we laughed and shared as the real world was far away from Dairy Fork, also known as the "spot". I learned much from being a boy scout, my dad did his best to change my conservative mind. If the fire needed to be started, he would tear out whole bushes of sagebrush. He would send us hunting for firewood and from a distance I could see the can of paint thinner being poured in the fire pit and like a magician, the flames would suddenly be eight feet high and we had a fire! We sat around the fire and again I wondered as I was older if I had a better chance of seeing deer without the flaming inferno lit by my dad.

When bed time came-there was little sleep. An occasional toot and some hardcore snoring inside the old tent. I can still smell that old tent. My dad always took his kids, and I am sure the noise and unskilled behavior we had lessened his chances of seeing deer. For that I will always be thankful. Maybe he had to take one or two of us as a deal with my mom. I am sure she enjoyed he calm in her life during the hunt.

Upon waking it was always cold in the mountains if Utah and took some warming up to start hiking up the canyons. I had my pack loaded the night before and had red and later bright orange layers to pull of as the day warmed. The line of hunters and stragglers left the truck and started up the finger like ridges of the canyon. The goal was to be on the shale as daylight came. The views were great and my dad was glassing the pines and the aspens across the canyon. He had his 270 that he built in gun smithing school leaning against a branch. I was a Mauser 8mm action form WWII with a custom barrel and walnut stock. It was the ultimate joy to watch my dad raise the rifle and scope out any suspected animal. He did not hunt for Huge bucks, he liked them but he hunted for meat, but even more for the joy of the hunt. The stories would continue on the mountain and so would the junk food and the glassing. This was his greatest joy, to have a chance to see something and to get a shot at it. Dick was good with his rifle and seldom came home without meat for the freezer. I saw the rifle raise and saw the deer stepping down out of the trees. It was a near sure thing when he fired his hand loaded bullet through the high country air. When he had a kid who had a permit and a rifle- he always would calm and coach and give the first shot to the newbie.

On Sunday, he would hunt but usually sleep later from fatigue and then hit the hills. He would move out with the conviction that the Lord still loved him and that once a year, the sabbath could be a day in the hills. Year after year he was the same man with simple patterns around the time of the hunt. He acted young and cheerful in the mountains, never angry if he did not succeed. He was complimentary of the hunter who did score and kind to help those who had trouble in the mountains. Dick was not a gadget guy, he was frugal and not a show off. He was a trickster and made us laugh with his funny stories.

I now hunt with custom rifles and range finders. I sleep warm and wake up warm, usually in a lodge. He has not been hunting for six years. I miss those days, the days of hunting with "Wild man Dick" as his boys called him. From crashing through a small creek in his truck in a blizzard to filling both of our tags because he knew I would not be angry. Oh and of course, never forget the time he killed a 3 point with his pants unbuckled, because nature called. Richard Cheever- you taught me the joy of deer hunting, you will be missed this fall. You are loved!

Dinner at Bouchon

2011-04-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of enjoying a meal at Thomas Keller's restaurant Bouchon in Las Vegas on Saturday. The dining experience was truly a pleasure as I was joined by my beautiful fiancee Denny and her son Nick. I have been t0 Bouchon for lunch two years ago and by chance got a dinner reservation for an early dinner. Let me say.....wonderful, flavorful and sublime!

Marinated olives and wonderful bread to start. The service was excellent and the patio on a perfect night added to the experience. Every detail was attended to even down to the water and butter. I had Snake River Pork Lon with a Pear Emulsion. The sauce was the star of the meal and made the beans and pork beyond words. Denny had French Onion soup and I being a bit turned off by onion, loved the soup. Perfect presentation and flavor. Denny and Nick had the Steak frittes and the fries were fried to perfection in peanut oil. The crunch and the texture were unmatched. The steak was tender and flavorful. Few time has food and company combined for such a good evening.

The dessert menu was a no lose proposition. I wanted the Lemon Tart. Denny had Creme Brulee and Nick had three brownies with salted caramel ice cream with toffee. May I say I was not disappointed at all. If you go to Bouchon, skip the salad and wait for dessert. The texture of the creme brulee was perfect! Nothing I have had in the past touches the flavor and texture of the creme. I will return to the Venetian as it is a beautiful hotel. But I will truly long for a return to Bouchon and the best meal I have had in many, many months. Good work Thomas Keller! Your vision and creative approach to food made from scratch did not disappoint. It was incredible!

Parents and Children

2011-04-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

I work all day with children. As a Pediatric Dentist I meet all kind of children and parents. Some kids are little and some are much larger than I am. Some scream and others are calm and stoic. I take each patient encounter as a new challenge and seek to stay out of judgement. Honestly, I seldom look at my own parenting and wonder what will become of my own kids. Brian and Amy are good kids and I have had few problems with them. The highlight of my life was the birth process and the love that grew as infants for them that has not died down. If I had to grade my parenting I would probably not be very happy. I have made many efforts that were a stretch and seem truly selfless for them. I am nowhere near perfect! I smile when I see photos of them in the waves in Maui, the grand canal in Venice or in New York City. They are my legacy and I wish them well in their journey. I love them.

I found this piece about parenting and thought I would share it.

" If I had my Child to Raise Over Again"- by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise over again,

I would finger paint more and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting,

and more connecting.

I would take my eye off my watch,

and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less,

and know to care more.

I would take more hikes,

and fly more kites.

I would stop playing serious,

and seriously play.

I would run through more fields,

and gaze at more stars.

I would do more hugging,

and far less tugging.

I would be firm less often,

and affirm much more.

I would build self-esteem first,

and build on the house later.

I would teach less about the love of power,

and teach more about the power of love.

My kids are a definite work in progress. I can look at them now and guide them when they let me. As adults I must allow them to think for themselves. My influence is limited by school and popularity. I am very comfortable in my place right now. I look at the little ones in my life daily and more often than not, I silently pray for them to have calm and peace. Some have little chance-based on the social situation alone. After 17 years of seeing kids grow and parents live their lives, the great thing is the number of times I have been happily suprised to see children succeed beyond my dreams. The sweetness of success is a constant reminder that the power of the mind is endless. Never stop believing that good things can occur. That concept that great people can come from all circumstances is the best part of my job!

My Frustration with the World

2011-04-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

As I watch the daily news, some ideas are never adequately addressed and must be on every thinking persons mind. I honestly do not know which biased news organization to believe. I know why the press is stepping carefully, there are some items that nobody wants to talk about. They don't want political or religious retribution.

I know one thing for sure. We need to get out of Afghanistan! It is not a winnable conflict and unless we are willing to go to lengths that the Russians and British would not go, we should stop. What do we do with the hellhole and it's stone age inhabitants with a victory anyway?Bring the troops home and stop spending billions of dollars on this conflict. The people of Afghanistan can fight each other. The Taliban can move on and they can work out their problems. The smart Afghanis left the country years ago. In fact the whole Islamic world can continue to be a Wasps nest of fanaticism and chaos. We can come home and let us take care of ourselves and reward quality citizens and countries that seek peace. Why bomb Libya? Why not cross over into Pakistan and do some real damage? Why, why, why?

Fundamental Islam is spreading. Islam is THE problem of the century! If you take away the internet, the news channels, and oil- they fall back to primitive and uneducated followers of a violent political idealogy/religion. Why are they the only religion blowing stuff up- over and over and over. If some Catholics of Baptists even blew up one bus or flew one plane into a building the world would be shocked. The fact is nearly all killing in the name of "God" is from Islam. IF you want to see the scorecard loop up the website titled "The Religion of Peace". I am not saying all Islamic people are wicked. If you support honor killing, you are just screwed in the head! Most people want all of the same things- peace, shelter, family and love. The recipe for fundamentalism however is present and any discouraged person can take a one way trip to paradise. And take several innocent people with them. Seventy-two virgins? Really?

The treatment of women in this world still amazes me as well. Why do so many see women as second class? Women are wonderful and deserve the same rights for being human as any man. I wonder how this planet would be if the women ruled and men worked to make the whole planet better. I think we all need to act locally at improving the planet. When we tell our children that one religion is the ONLY truth and we cannot take criticism. We are set up to have fanatical behavior. My definition of a fanatic is a person who doubles their speed when they do not know where they are going.

The world cannot accept calculated wasting of human lives. Read the book entitled "Murder City" by Charles Bowden. It will blow your mind and you will see how twisted the "truth" can become. In Ciudad Juarez, Mexico murder and silent terror is the only way of life. It is truly tragic when killing and death fog the streets of once a large and wonderful city. Corruption is on all sides and truth becomes the first major casualty of war. We hear the news and it is always biased, whether Fox or CNN- one has to sort out the nuggets of reality and see if we can believe it. We need to be educated and understand that our world is changing and changing fast. Sharia law cannot be allowed to dictate the behavior of a subset of Islamic Americans. It doesn't work and if you don't like it go home. Go back to your" hard to find a book and an air conditioner" place you came from and then look objectively at America. Our constitution is hanging and really stretched. It becomes a problem when a religion becomes a powerful and deceitful political party. The US constitution must be defended and supported. If one portion changes for Islam, what else changes?

Seek peace in your own world, within your own homes. There is a time to take a stand and I am at that point and well beyond. I want change! I want congressional term limits and I want my fellow soldiers home! I look forward to a time when every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Chr"ist is Lord and Savior. I also know there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth in "Craplakistan and in the rest of the Islamic world. Islam is the major problem on planet earth. Just ask the Japanese how much looting they had after the earthquake- zero! They respect themselves and their countrymen. Islamic persons would steal the place blind. Tell me I am lying! Take a look and live. Stop blowing people up! In fact stop the threats-grow up!

Wonderful American Samoa

2011-03-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

I seldom find myself speechless. This past week I have been speechless many times. I am in American Samoa providing dental care for the good soldiers of the U. S. Army Reserve. I knew Samoa would be tropical and beautiful. My expectations have been more than exceeded. On this small island in the South Pacific, I found myself pondering just how diverse this planet really is. Looking at the globe, I am on a speck of an island in the south pacific and the vast ocean is on every side. This idea makes this place feel a bit isolated and at the mercy of the sea if nature gets angry. Especially when the largest earthquake ever to occur in Japan occurs and the tsunami warnings are very, very real. These people respect the power of the oceans and the earth. The natural beauty has been incredible. The food has been far above expectations in freshness and in portions. For a Las Vegas resident the humidity is refreshing and the rainstorms breathtaking.

The most incredible part of this experience is the people. Strong and quiet, truly noble people. I see the Samoan soldiers who went to Iraq and lost at least ten soldiers in combat- ten warrior brothers gone! Many more were wounded and scarred from stepping into a hell that I know well. I have observed these people from a limited distance and I am fascinated and honored to serve their soldiers as well as be a quest on the island. There was one bean counter who came to push "Army Efficiency" and his arrogance was mind blowing . I had been told that Samoa had an amazing blowhole. It is a hole in the rock, at a spot where water spouts 60 feet high when the tide is right. I did not know the Samoan blowhole had such competition. Otherwise the mission has been a great success. General Chang had a great vision to assist the care of these men and women. The soldiers are great patients to work with from the standpoint of this dentist. The smallest service has been appreciated and the kindness as well as gratitude has been beyond my vision until experienced.

Part of me could leave the news, politics and American insanity-and just dump it all for island life. The other part knows I will still go home and never stop traveling or dreaming. I will tke home stories and sights that humble me. I spoke in depth with a soldier who was injured with an IED in Iraq. He told me about when they were hit. He checked on his guys and one was dying and had his lower body blown apart and lost his life. This strong soldier provided care to the wounded as well as returning home injured. Sgt A's life will never be the same. He accompanied his fallen comrade home to his family in Samoa for burial. Noble and final for the dead with no time to say goodbye. Time to rebuild and cherish life for the living.

I get some time to search and snorkel this week and I will take photos by the dozens. I sat in a isolated lagoon and in the dark watched the waves crash. I felt the Samoan waves wash away my stress and sadness. I was speechless and emotional at my fortune to be here with my brother Scott and friends.

Samoa is not perfect, no place ever is. But to judge or mock would be foolish without further investigation. I have respect for men who will take a pot and water to the beach and get the food from the ocean. They brought no other food and we ate crab and lobster in the dark. That was faith in a true sense. I was optimistic- they knew. I will cherish my stay. I will never forget the spirit of these noble and wonderful people.

On to the Japan earthquake aftermath. I cannot imagine the plight of those great people. The disaster is still unfolding as I type. The tsunami warning has been lifted in Samoa. The island closed on Friday and most stayed away from the water. They got hit by a tsunami in 2009. They respect the power of the ocean. We were hit with a surge but not damaging. I guess this has been a week of ups and downs. I will now sleep after a wonderful barbeque and snorkeling in perfect water. In Heaven-also known as American Samoa.

Thanksgiving: The day before Black friday

2010-11-24T19:40:00.000-08:00

As I ponder the upcoming holidays I am always amazed at what we actually celebrate and how we do it. Take Easter, a great reason for Christians to celebrate the Resurrection Of Christ. But then where exactly did the easter bunny come from? I think you get where I am going here. The true meanings of holidays get skewed by humans and their quirks. I, personally have always loved Thanksgiving! As a holiday, the concept seemed correct, wonderful and tasty to me. The time to spend time with family and friends and then eat like a pig and watch football. It may disappoint some of you, but feel it is a perfect concept for a holiday. Gratitude and food! Thanks and giving, the perfect reasons to celebrate! If the Detroit Lions would start winning games it might make it slightly better. Not knowing that the football game on TV is over in the first five minutes.

Holiday expectations cause people to do all kinds of things to get to the turkey dinner- fly, drive and take days off work and school (for a turkey dinner). I see the lines of people getting felt up by TSA employees to get home on the news and I am glad to be in my chair. I do feel that the pull and enjoyment of being with others is the true positive of Thanksgiving. What? A holiday focused on gratitude and family- has the government of the United States lost its mind? Take one other holiday for example. Columbus Day is surely a farce- he discovered the Island of Hispanola, known today as Haiti and the Dominican Republic. Why would we celebrate that? If Columbus truly "discovered: America- how do the thousands who were already here feel about that? The legacy of "Manifest Destiny" and the wholesale destruction of the American Indian is regrettable and still the terrible question. WHY? ARROGANCE AND RELIGION-THAT'S WHY. We all need to seek to understand history so that we do not repeat it. Ignorance is comfortable for many of us and yet the Pilgrims did no good for the indigenous peoples of the Americas. What are they thankful for? Annexation, reservations and demonization as a people? Were they savages or a civilization that had survived for centuries doing just fine on their own? Wounded knee was a massacre and yet 25 U.S. Soldiers received the Medal of Honor for killing 338 people who would not stop dancing the "ghost dance" in hope of a messiah to rescue their people. Pilgrims? Manifest destiny?

I look at the "truth" according to how I was raised and realize that we all know shades of the truth. We may be completely incorrect. The internet gives instant information and yet is it true information? I will bet that the Indians were not that happy to have the first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims. They had everything to lose. We still portray the first holiday as a cooperative dinner- I will bet the concept is fantasy or close to it.

We should eat, we should meet and Okay- watch football. We also need a reason to make pumpkin pie once a year. I would suggest that we seek to act correctly toward all people we encounter. DO seek to know the lessons of history and DO seek to be better than previous generations. Seek to be compassionate and show gratitude. If you don't see family and friends face to face this season, get on the phone and tell people they are loved or forgiven-do not wait to be thankful for all you have. Gratitude is a good reason to celebrate even if the history that gives the backstory is fantasy! Look on any street, in any school or hospital and you can see far more difficult challenges than you face -be thankful it isn't you-today. Go Lions! Stay warm in the Target parking lot tonight- I will be asleep from my overeating!

The Ritual of October

2010-10-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

October- my favorite month of the year! From the cool temperatures to the World Series, I love the fall. Every fall, I looked forward to the college football season and back to school, but mostly I loved to go hunting with my dad. Western mule deer hunting with Dick Cheever was a sight to see. He would load the old tent and sleeping bags and with a wry smile on his face load the truck with food and supplies. It was his time-his time to tell the old stories and get away from everything. As an adult I never have understood why he was willing to take kids with him. We could not keep quiet for one minute and there was not a chance of sleep the night before opening day.

I was a gatherer of firewood and my dad was the fire starter. He would drag a tree into the fire pit and dump white gas on the wood- in a Merlin the Wizard like move, he would toss the match and we had a flash and a roaring campfire.

After a dinner of canned chili and apples it was time for the gas pains and the stories-the never ending deer hunting stories. The one about the deer that was killed with my dad's pants around his ankles, the time he shot the huge buck and it had infection from porcupine quills and the time he prayed for the chance to shoot a buck. I remember the story about the time a mountain lion killed a doe by the tents in the night, it made me take pause after dark. Oh, and how I loved to hear about guns. The one sad tale was of the family that went hunting in the early 50's and a young man shot his brother in law through the lungs high in the thick pines. He mistook his movement for a deer. My uncle George, a well traveled WWII veteran took the dead man out on his horse. He had seen enough death and never packed a gun again.

I watched my dad drive through a creek bed after a blizzard and his red truck was spinning and made a huge splash and finally the truck was on the right side of the creek. I then knew we would not be stuck in the snowstorm- I truly felt safe with my dad.

I had the chance to take him to Colorado on a elk hunt when he was well into his 70's. He stood proudly holding his new 7mm Mag I bought him for the trip. I was honored to take him and he went along with all of the practical jokes. He always had his favorite foods with him and if he has eaten one tin of Kippered Snacks he has eaten a thousand. I am now sure that every deer in the county could smell the fish in oil when his tin lid cracked open. He did not care, he was a free man and wearing his red or orange sweatshirt and sitting on the saddle, a favorite place to lay back and glass the hillside. He was never a wealthy man but he was happy when hunting deer.

I learned at the hand of a master. I learned from a man of kindness and willingness for a youngster to take a shot first. He was willing to take family, friends and coworkers with him hunting deer. He grew a set of white whiskers and was a master with his 270- he built it and put a custom barrel on it. His brother brought the 8mm Mauser off a dead German soldier between Normandy and surrender of the Germans. It was his tool-deer hunting was his passion and like an artists brush, he used a 270 with a Swastika symbol engraved on the action.

If he was not successful he was content. As long as he saw a few or someone in the party got a deer he was good. He seemed even happier when one of his kids got a deer. I learned a great deal about my father from our October pilgrimage to Dairy Fork- our hunting spot for generations. I learned of his family, his mission and his love of God. He seldom complained and was generous and kind to those he brought hunting. We kids fought with each other and made way too much noise and he was gentle with his correction. I now sit in Las Vegas and wish I could go hunting just one more time with my father- Richard Cheever.

I will hunt many times in my life-but no more with my father. He is 83 years old and slowly losing his memory as the confusion of old age threatens his independence. He will not shoot a deer or pheasant again. I will make sure he gets out target shooting and I will throw as many clay pidgeons as he can shoot at. I do not have kids that like to hunt. I get to do that on my time. I also get to write down and focus on my October memories of the deer hunt. As the undignified loss of memory slides upon my dad I hope to be clear with my gratitude for his love, teaching and kindness every fall. He has been a gentle, simple man who lived for the fall ritual. He was funny, alive and honestly at his best- each October-on the deer hunt.

Power and How People Handle It

2010-10-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from one week of testing dentists in Dallas, Texas. The oral board exam is two hours of tough questions for practicing Pediatric Dentists to become board certified. I am always amazed at the smart candidates and how many are willing to pay the price to reach the goal of board certification. The examiners are volunteers and are all successful in their profession. The thing that amazes me is how power goes to the heads of some of the examiners, who have all the answers to the exam in front of them.

When in a position to judge, we should be gentle and not assume anything about who we test. They may have English as a second or third language. They may have been in practice for twenty years or had a weak academic residency. When a blank stare follows my question I always restate the question. If they do not know I ask an easier question to assess the candidates basic knowledge of the subject. Then I move forward as the answers get clearer and stronger. I see smart people who let nerves get the best of them and some just do not show up for the test. They pay a good sum and travel far to take the exam and I am sure it is intimidating to face examiners.

I tested with man kind and gentle examiners and then I got "Bob". He asked every sharp question and cut off the interviewee in the middle of sentences. If the candidate was thinking he would immediately move on. I know I need to think and it takes time to go through the files in my brain. In fact, my brain is like an iceberg-it can only hold so many penguins. I watched Bob act so smart and "show that idiot" how much they did not prepare for the board. I was sick for the young lady who got him as an examiner. Even if she was not prepared-she deserved to be treated with respect and kindness. She was not the enemy-she was a colleague.

I have no interest in knowing Bob. He can be as smart as he wants. None of us are perfect. WHen I got home from Dallas, my power was out. There was the bill-with a check and a stamp. I called and paid by phone but the power did not come on that night. I had a flashlight and read and was hot as could be. As I laid in the dark I thought this must be what hell must be like. Dark, hot and mostly my fault. I did not want the lesson but I got it. I also found out I was not that smart.

All of us will be arrogant at times. We will all be incompetent at certain things. I am a believer that fair and kind behavior will ease our lives as well as those we come in contact with. Sarcasm and smug behavior seldom has a payoff. Compassion will always pay off in our lives. Bob can be Bob- based on my interaction he is an arrogant jackass and should not be an examiner. I would hope he will reevaluate his methods or be relieved as an examiner. When we are given power-any power we should be cautious and act as if we hold a sacred trust. Pimping a candidate is not fair or good form.

Redempton

2010-09-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

I am a true lover of stories of where a person overcomes obstacles and self-doubt to gain success and a calm mind. I love the concept of redemption. I hope that each of you will see Russell Crowe portray James J. Braddock, in the film "Cinderella Man." A great and emotional film where he suffers badly to care for his family during the depression and nearly loses all. He finally gets his chance, a long, long chance to fight again. He comes back to win his fight against the arrogant, young German champion, Max Baer. He won against overwhelming odds- and I love this kind of story. Unless, I am the one with the odds stacked against me. At the end of the fight he wins not only for himself , but for every suffering soul. I freely let the tears flow. They flow because I love the idea of the underdog stepping up into a moment in time and exceeding the overwhelming predictions. Gaining redemption, dignity and saying goodbye to self doubt. This fight was a life changing event, an important point in a life where a loss could tip into pain, hunger or total loss of dignity.

In Great Britian the homeless are called "unfortunates" by many. In these economic times I see many unfortunates on the streets of Las Vegas. Every corner has a guy with a sign. In homes there are many people who are silently and secretly suffering. They are unfortunate with the current economy and job market. The TV commercials are almost unbearable here- dirty political ads, lawyers to handle your bankruptcy and charlatans seeking to cash in on the collective community pain. I know many who will file bankruptcy, lose homes and lose faith in themselves and others in the near future. I feel for them and of course I feel sorry for myself-times are tough.

I believe that so many suffer from depression and self doubt in these crazy times that they lose perspective. Depression is a cruel mistress and is often obvious to others and not to the sufferer. It is real and it is damaging to our souls. I know that we are here to embrace the moments of true joy in our lives. I know that pain is what allows us to understand happiness. We need balance.

Thank goodness for kind friends who seek to know and act-intervene on behalf of those in need. We all need a friend. When I see my true friends that show up for my family and seek my well being, I know I am blessed. If more people in this world could be so blessed.

If we want others to be happy- be compassionate! If we want to be happy-be compassionate! That is the advice of the Dali Lama and it must include compassion for ourselves. We must allow ourselves to make errors and be accountable for our errors. That will assist us to keep us balanced in life.

Next time you see a great success- be genuinely happy for the lucky soul. Respect their journey and effort-be a cheerleader for the positive and the good. Next time an acquaintance fails- be gentle, be genuine and show compassion. Tommy Lasorda, long time manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers stated, "80% of people do not care about your problems, the other 20% are glad that you have got them!" Find yourself in the minority-care! Embrace the success stories and forgive the failures. There is not perfection in any living person yet we are all redeemable. That concept must never, ever be forgotten.

Redemption-what a concept-what a story!

I Would Stand in Line for This

2010-07-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

There is a song called "Extreme Ways" by Moby- it is a cool song for sure. I am constantly reminded of one stanza from the song- the statement made is " I would stand in line for this, I would stand in line for this". I love the song and think of the Jason Bourne movies when I hear it.

Once as the song played I was struck by the statement and wondered what in my life I would be willing to stand in line for? What is good enough to actually stand in line for?

In serving the people of third world countries I have seen lines of hundreds to get medical care or teeth removed. How would it be to stand in a huge line- hoping to be relieved of pain? If i was suffering- I would stand in line for relief. I think that our American culture can be selfish and oblivious to the sadness of those who suffer. There are people who wait in their Ed Hardy clothes to get into a Vegas club. They will stand in line for that! The chance to drink, dance and go home and share how cool the club scene was in Vegas. What about those who stand in line for food stamps, job interviews and health care-right here in Las Vegas? They will stand in line- because they have to stand in line.

What are the things that really matter in our lives? What would we be willing to stand in line for? What could we be forced to stand in line for? I would be honored to stand in line to catch a flight and visit my father. I would stand in line to provide service and improve the lives of others. I would stand in line to serve my great country. I would stand for many things and yet I find myself standing in line for things that I often do not need or even want. Sometimes we are forced to stand in line, other times we choose to line up and wait. Sometimes we choose things that we know will not work for us and we still line up willingly. We choose to suffer- we choose to be at peace. May we truly ponder the things we desire and value. If we find ourselves placing extra effort for something that does not serve us or others, we may want to step out of line or re-focus our vision. Maybe being "out of line " is actually better than standing in line for foolish pursuits. Ask yourself.........What would I stand in line for this and WHY?

Colombia

2010-05-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

I recently had the opportunity to spend two weeks in Colombia as a guest of the Colombian Army to complete a humanitarian health project. I was assigned to a Medical unit from Vancouver, WA and they were a joy to be with. My army career has taken me to some cool places and Colombia did not disappoint. My brother Scott was able to be the other dentist on the trip and I could not have been more pleased. Having a brother that is close and shares common ideas and interests is a true gift. The kind of relationship that I wish all could experience.

Bogota is the capital of Colombia and I was entering South America for the first time, a slight bit anxious and ready for adventure. Many people had told me before I left to watch out for bandits and drugs. For me, I have always felt that life begins at the edge of my comfort zone. I was amazed by the beauty of the country-simply stunned! The green, the sheer biomass is intense and the flowers are beautiful. I have been around the world and have few times been anywhere as beautiful.

Then came the people- lines and lines of people responding to radio advertising of medical and dental care by US doctors and dentists. They were gracious and pleasant. I feel that dentistry is much more fun when dollars don't complicate matters. Serving the people of Pasca and Arbellaez was a pure joy. We saw some sad things and most of the teeth that were removed were just roots or broken fragments of crowns. Nobody kept a perfect count but several hundred teeth were removed and the people were treated with love and respect. Lovingkindness crosses language barriers. Smiles and compliments to their beautiful country were shared with every person. There is no better way to vacation than serving people-they are the prize!

We had excellent interpreters and they made our job easier and thanks to them we had fresh baked goods every morning. Diego Aguirre and Nicholas made nine days of fast paced dental treatment go smoothly. My assistant SSG Mike Ball could not have been better at his job. Cool, mature and he had all the women swooning at his Clooney-esque, dreamy blue eyes.

At the end of the mission I was very tired and very satisfied. The people, the villages, the food and the beautiful children were stuck indelibly in my mind. I left nothing back and worked as hard and smart as I could. The mission was a huge success and thanks to great leadership of Captain Wheatley and 1SG Dyer and a number of others. We got to Bogota and got to our hotel- oh a hot shower! Meals and a tour of Monserrat and off to the airport for home.

My impressions: beautiful land, people who have known pain and civil war and a country I would love to visit again. No word of drugs, cartels or other stereotypical ideas about Colombia. I took a ton of photos and many people as they said goodbye stated "don't forget us." I definitely will not forget the people or the land. From a dental standpoint it seems as if for some there, teeth represent 32 opportunities for pain, tooth removal and humiliation. Most humans want to look good and attractive. Having large gaps or no teeth is a part of rural Colombian life. It makes me think twice when I see the spoiled 12 year old that wants bleached teeth or braces.

Life is simple in Pasca-a village with a rough road to get in and a beautiful church in the square. It is exciting to travel and see how much people love God and make beautiful places to worship in humble circumstances. I saw the sun shining on the angel on the cathedral and got a beautiful picture of it. It will hang in my home as long as I live. I am no angel, but I met several in a stunning country called Colombia. The people again were beautiful, humble and gracious-the true prize. I was the person who was most rewarded!

The Prize

2010-03-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

I am satisfied that I continue to gain understanding in my life. At times a simple truth slides into my consciousness and I recognize it and other times truth drops onto my head like an anvil. One of those lessons struck the core of my soul and I must share it with you.

I was concerned when a boy named Ryan walked into my office door with tears in his eyes and he would not make eye contact with me-even at his eye level. I was dentist number six and he still had teeth that hurt and a permanent molar that was abscessed. He had insurance and two hard working parents present with him in the clinic-nice people who wanted a solution to Ryan's growing dental problems. I know many sit in judgement and say, why didn't they brush his teeth? I do not want to ever assume that a situation that is already bad will be made better by harsh judgement. I know a kind and logical solution is needed and work days off shopping for dental care is not the solution to a family's financial challenges.

We talked and I weighed him, 74 pounds of handsome redhead- nine years old, wanting his dignity and as little pain as possible. Forty five minutes later he was ready to work, chatting and very relaxed from the oral sedative medicines I gave him. Nitrous Oxide on his nose and a pulse oximeter on his finger, he was quiet. He had his mother and father present with him and they watched closely. Injections went in and I started with the biggest problems first- my goal was to relieve the pain.

Just under one hour later he stood up and said "that wasn't that hard at all!" I gave him toys and his parents prescriptions and they walked out the door. All work done and two special tickets for them and a hug from Ryan.

During the sedation the father brought up the economy and not being able to attend the Monster Truck World Championships 2010-three days later. I had two tickets, 3rd row given to me by Dr Moxley. I offered them and he gladly took them. I felt good that there would be no need for dentist number seven. They found someone who could take a look and change a young boy's suffering.

I had invited my little friend Sonny De Crosta and he brought a friend. I also brought Cory, Blake and Bob. We arrived and I was lucky enough to sit by Ryan and his cousin. Dad decided if all kids in the family could not go he would send Ryan with his cousin. His parents must have put a nickel in him before the show. This little boy was non-stop talk, he knew all the trucks, filled me with information and showed me his silver teeth- he felt better and I was at total peace.

The monster trucks were amazing and I have never known what I was missing. I gave those boys dozens of high fives and was hoarse from yelling. I saw smiles, I passed kindness from Dr Moxley down to others and I am positive I got the most out of it. Yes, I took a risk inviting someone who had such an intense appointment at my office. What if the boy would not speak to me? Sonny and Ryan could not hide the smiles and my risk paid off. I left satisfied and knowing I had done the right thing.

In Iraq, when the Marines replaced the Army in the city of Fallujah, the incoming Marines were briefed by Major General James Mattis, an Infantryman, a well educated stud of a marine.. He stated that insurgents are the enemy, not the Iraqi people. Then he stated "THE PEOPLE ARE THE PRIZE!" I read every day and this statement hit me hard and stopped me. I took off my glasses and wrote it down. I have thought about it but have not found the correct words to describe how I felt. I will hunt no longer The Prize- I understand! It was the day after the monster trucks when I read this statement, the timing was perfect. The people are the prize!

From a fearful child with nervous parents, to a generous gift of tickets that I did not quite know how I would use them. To seeing huge smiles and having no voice from all of the fun. I was blown away what mindful sharing and caring could do. I was blessed and looked down the row at boys who deserved good things to happen. I thank God for my job and for knowing first hand what it means to be the recipient of unseen blessings.

Today, Monday-8:00 am- My patient named Guierrmo was 30 minutes early and I barely got the lights on and they were in the door. Spanish speakers and profound developmental disability in their son, aged 24. In the past it might have been an annoyance-no time to read the news. Not today- Guierrmo was the important visitor, his parents sought kindness. They found it, they found it today! I will gladly solve his dental needs. He was the prize that hour- he is Guierrmo, noble son of noble parents. I know that perfection exists, I saw it in his gaze, a perfect soul in a body that is not 100% perfect. I know his parents know true love and service. If not now - when? If not me -who? Who will serve, who will stop the arrogance and judgement? Mindful living must stay in my soul for me to be content. Who is my competition? Nobody! What does more stuff mean? I am tired of designer jeans and fake looks-I want to know how people feel. I want to know how you feel-how you feel. I am not beyond redemption and I know most humans have significant value. I think education and degrees make some of us "suffer" from a superiority complex. I want to be a worker, a craftsman and gentle servant. The checks are needed, the dental is fun- THE PEOPLE ARE THE PRIZE! Relationships can live on and who knows how influence will grow. Try it-find your prizes.

Gratitude and How Fast We Forget

2010-02-28T22:01:00.000-08:00

I clearly understand that physical activity and adrenaline are wonderful for keeping a clear head. For months and months, I had missed the endorphins of skiing a steep mountain and riding a dirt bike like my hair is on fire. I am so honored that my brother noticed my need to get out of my house and office more often. My brother took me to Mammoth Ski Area. Scott had rough "sierra cement" and not a ton of fun on his snowboard, while I skied for the first time since 2007. I had a blast and my legs are making a note of the stress of being older. The key point I wish to make is this: Gratitude is the key to abundant living and healthy relationships. One word, Gratitude, can make our lives better in most ways. He recognized my need and I recognize my need to be gracious.

For example , I teach at a dental school and have written many letters of recommendation for students. People will follow you, hound you, shadow you and make endless phone calls for a letter of support. I am stunned at the number of people who when they get what they want, do not even consider saying or e-mailing a note of thanks. They could call and say where they got in for dental education. They could punch a one line e-mail sharing the results- 0 for 7 this year, they all got in. I would love to know which residency I put my name and reputation on the line for. I would love to know which of my colleagues will live with entitled students who act as if they are owed something. Background and religion might have a role with teaching of gratitude. They appear to matter not to the hungry students. I pray I was not a jerk. I once heard a definition of the word fanatic- "a person who doubles their speed, when they do not know where they are going". To be dentist is a blessing, I love my job and the kids I care for daily. I know who is average and who is great in my world. I assure all of you that arrogance and entitlement are not great defining characteristics for a pediatric dentist or most people. I am beyond the "how it looks" stage- I care how it feels! I care how I feel and others as well. I seek humility, grace and gratitude in my life. Maybe that is wisdom or age talking.

To my students, I won't call you out for how I feel. I assure you that life, children,arrogance, entitlement, pain and defeat will teach you humility Can you seek out gratitude? I called my brother tonight and told him how much I appreciated his kindness and foresight. I will forever smile at the memories from the trip and seek to make a difference for him soon. Oh, and the letters. I will write more next year.

2010

2010-01-16T16:45:00.000-08:00

As 2010 is now here I am thankful for simply being here and having such good friends and family. I spent quiet holiday season,glad to see 2009 go. My kids came to Las Vegas for a while and we had a great time. I think the world of my Brian and Amy! Then it was back to work and on with life, continuing the daily work schedule. I find that life is a few joys and a few disappointments with the majority of time just being- neither happy or sad. I also know that work is good for our souls and a great method to stay focused in our lives.

When the earth shook in Haiti three days ago, I was glued to the television. I have been on the other side of the island in the Dominican Republic, but not Haiti. I loved my time in DR and get to have some more in the near future. I enjoy the idea of service and caring for people when dollars do not matter. On humanitarian missions whether Army sponsored or private we can give and smile and be authentic to those who are less fortunate. I often feel like I get more from giving the service than those who I give dental care to. I love the whole idea of service to others and yet in the U.S. charity or giving of ourselves often confuses relationships or brings imbalance to a friendship. I have more than once fixed a tooth and said "no charge" and it was harder than just accepting payment. Pride is a funny thing- how can we let someone do something kind for us and just be gracious in a simple fashion. Instead we can get stuck in expectation and the thought of payback. Then we lose the whole idea of generosity or kindness.

Gratitude is the key to abundant life. Say thank you often and thank God that you are warm and fed. I see the news in Haiti and the reporters speak of 100,000 dead. Who knows how many people are suffering a demise from illness or infection, people who matter and seek love and comfort in their lives. Think of the psychological and social losses. I only need to look in my mirror to see a blessed man.

I believe our challenges include never giving up. Lance Armstrong stated, " Pain is temporary, quitting is forever!" I feel strongly that we as human beings need to stop our own judgement and hatred. We need to be loving and tolerant of others views and choices. We should pray for those who suffer. I cannot imagine the suffering and sadness in Haiti today. Look at your life, look at your kids, and thank God that it is not you, trapped, suffering or missing.

Happy 2010- make it a year of gratitude and kindness. It is truly a blessing living with abundance and comfort.

Happy Holidays and Heathens Greetings!

2009-12-20T20:56:00.000-08:00

It is the Holiday Season of 2009, a year that will go down in my life as a major challenge and very, very humbling personally. Difficulty is inevitable in life and yet suffering is truly optional. I would like to have less experience with suffering, especially that which results from my own judgement. Having a belief system that there is a purpose for all of this bliss mixed with everyday monotony and challenge is what makes life meaningful for me. I know that some people disagree with me about a divine purpose and are very vocal about their views. I want to stand for mine, a hope and a belief in a loving God.

There are billboards in Las Vegas this Christmas season that say, "Heathens Greetings!" and "Yes Virginia.....there is no God!" The second one was taken down after several complaints from those who believe and live with hope. By the some who do not believe, these are surely looked upon as "the gullible". How would one feel to be a child and read that there is no God? Especially if your family version of truth is based in a loving and redeeming relationship with deity. In America, the first amendment gives all persons the right to speak and share their thoughts. That is a great right and yet often it gets ridiculous! Why would someone spend the money to make a statement such as "Heathens Greetings!" I would probably just shut up and not pay to be looked at as an agitator. I would rather be quiet than an arrogant agitator, one who shares my beliefs that are counter to the spirit of the populace during the holiday season.. In the middle east, a counter religious statement would mean a head cut off or worse. Oh, oh our first amendment gives all the voices equal say and yet some just seem to portray a message of what they are- miserable.

Doubt is popular, belief in God is almost looked down at in scientific circles. The atheism movement is gaining momentum and I don't blame people who are confused. If there is no God, why should they care. There are fewer crowds for Sunday brunch. A bumper sticker I saw said, "Science flies people to space, religion flies people into buildings!" I recognize fanatics of all types. Religion is uncomfortable for many in our society. The magicians, Penn and Teller are vocal about the "foolishness" of those who believe in God. They deal with illusion and they use their celebrity status to push their beliefs on audiences? Performers?Speak with your dollar and show them how you feel. Belief and personal faith is under assault in America and worldwide. A person's faith is personal and deserves respect from others. Some are annoying and others just double their speed when they do not know where they are going.

I believe in God. I do not fear God, for I love God. I know that I will have plenty to be accountable for and that is my business. We all owe God a death and will face our moment of truth. I am puzzled by the concept hell and the lake of fire and brimstone. Brimstone when superheated, burns from the inside out, leaving a carbon shell. Sort of like a personal recognition of wrongdoing and a burn from the inside out. I will certainly feel sorrow for knowing I was not what I could have been. I will know God and his son, Jesus Christ- for they knew me first. I was created in their image.

Seasons greetings and enjoy your faith and hope in a savior, in redemption and being with family forever. The concepts make sense to me and I claim to have only seen glimpses of perfection in my life. In the eyes of several disabled children and adults. The glimpse of the eye that tells me a perfect spirit resides within the body and will be glorified and redeemed. It gives me knowledge and belief of a larger picture of life. As for me, I believe in Christ. As for the the billboards, they are sending a message that to my core makes no sense. Make a stand for peace and the positive in your lives. Share your gifts because we are given earthly and spiritual gifts and talents. Give to those in need, be charitable with no strings attached. I am blessed and in spite of challenges and imperfection, I look forward to 2010 and a Happy New Year.

Serving Those Less Fortunate

2009-12-18T19:40:00.000-08:00

I believe that the greatest things in the world are not things, they are relationships and friendships that we form and nurture. When I went to work today and drove in the dark to Flamingo Surgical Center I had the feeling I was in for a tough morning. Not so much hard work as dealing with parents with sad histories and tragic stories.

My first patient was a 15 year old with a sad, sad syndrome that make her severely developmentally delayed and blind. She speaks Serbian and has no way to know why she would need to go to sleep in an OR and wake up with pain in her mouth. Her mouth is diseased and she live with pain and severe bleeding from he inflamed gums. Her father is an immigrant and her mother was abducted and had her head cut off. All because of who she was and what she believed. I held her closely as she breathed the inhaled gas that puts her to sleep. I opened her mouth after anesthesia was ready and saw a mess. One created by many years of her not ever allowing anyone to brush her teeth or gums. It was beyond sad what I saw and I slowly worked through the problems and saw why she was in pain. Teeth were removed and two big abscesses were drained. It was a case that I needed a shower when I was done. I felt dirty, I was dirty and yet full of love for this young lady. I knew she was going to suffer from teeth being removed and gums trimmed down. It was bloody and the odor was beyond belief. I had the opportunity to serve an angel today.

I finished and took her to recovery. I explained post operative instructions to her father through an interpreter. I saw a weathered man who looked much older than he really is, a man who wished he had a daughter that could be educated and married. Instead he got to be a single dad in a foreign country with a life long challenge in his daughter. I felt and saw his emotion as she was awakening and he shook my hand for a long time and said thank you. He smiled with teeth that were not good and yet I saw a blessed man. A man who has freedom and a man who knows love on a level that many do not learn. A disabled daughter that needs full time care- he knows how to be the caregiver of an angel, trapped in a body that does not work perfectly.

My next patient was a child with a full mouth of decayed baby teeth and parents that many would never, ever give the time of day. They are hard working folks that do not have skills that many would feel are necessary for success. I took several teeth out of this boy and crowned several teeth with stainless steel crowns, it was all I could do for him. A chunky kid with carrot red hair and rotten teeth. He went to recovery and I met with mom and dad, they were kind and relieved. Much different than they had been last week when they showed up having fed the child and the procedure had to be cancelled. General anesthesia has to occur on an empty stomach. He ate chicken and drank milk. Dad was extremely angry and had released a few words at me that were not mature. Thankfully I had met people like him before and educated him, he did leave a bit mad but came to the office to apologize, no longer mad. Today he was apologetic and gracious. A different man. A man I liked and a family that I wished the best for in the future. I know life is hard for them and I hope I made a positive impact for them.

Two kids, nothing truly exciting for the average dentist. A challenge, an opportunity and all in a days work for thousands of pediatric dentists that treat and love disabled kids and unskilled families. I am glad I accept Medicaid, many don't and say the patients never show up and are difficult. I have always been more excited to care for a van load of migrant children than a child with his mother in a Mercedes and a tennis dress. I had two fully insured patients today and left he surgical center knowing for sure I had made an impact for the better. I learned about not judging people. I learned about change that comes from calm and solid education, I realized how blessed I really am in my life.

Normal for me is different. I have to coax and educate and sedate children daily. Normal for most dentists is the desire to run the Nordstrom practice and do veneers and have perfect patients. Nobody truly gets the perfect world. Many talk about how good it is and how well they are doing. In 2009 it has become cool to talk about how sad and down the practices are due to the economy. I choose to not participate in the recession. I choose to work and teach and love those who walk through my doors. I am honored to serve, and I believe that work is the best cure for anxiety. If life finds me down I only have to think of the children with dental and social and maturity challenges that I am honored to serve. I also feel better, my worries and problems are different. Only different and yet real problems. Who am I? I am a man who went home feeling well, feeling like I made a difference- for the unseen, underserved and perfect souls in bodies that are never perfect. They do deserve the best care and to be treated with love and dignity. They deserve quality and kindness for sure. It was a successful day and it felt so, so good. Count your blessing if you have healthy kids and understand that we are one accident from total dependence on others, disability or death. Live each day-truly live and show gratitude, it is the true key to abundant living. Serving who I see daily is wonderful. Normal for me is just how I like it. I can't see me doing anything else. I am blessed- beyond measure. An now time for a hot shower. Happy Holidays!

Major Ed Caraveo

2009-12-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

It is odd how tragic events occur and we often accept the big picture as what it is and do not pay attention to the fine details. Tonight I was on a web site and ran across a tribute to the fallen in the Fort Hood Shooting incident on November 5th 2009. I scrolled through the names and one name of a fallen soldier jumped out at me and grabbed my heart in a sad and shocking way.

Libardo Eduardo Caraveo, Major US Army Reserve- murdered by a fanatic at a Soldier Readiness Station at Fort Hood, Texas. Ed was my roommate for two weeks in July of 2009. We attended Captains Career Course for the Army at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas and roomed together. Both majors and we have last names that end in "C". We shared a dual dorm room and a bathroom and were with several other excellent soldiers.

We walked in the evenings, studied together for exams and ate many meals together. He was a bright man with a mature insight into life. I very much enjoyed his company and his focus on what mattered. He spoke of his service at Guantanamo Bay and how much he missed his beautiful wife. He told me he was going to be deployed in the fall. I never dreamed to where. He was laid to rest in Arlington Cemetery with full military honors.

I cannot imagine the stress of losing a loved one as a soldier, especially in such a random act of violence. I often thought of what would occur if I died in my two deployments to Iraq. Flying at night over Baghdad looking out the back of a Chinook with a gunner and the city light below. I resigned myself that one stinger missile and I could be gone. I knew my life was often in the hands of fate and that my soul belonged to a loving God who would welcome me home with open arms. Sitting in my trailer on FOB Echo with mortars hitting regularly was another of those times when it was not in my control whether I was lucky or not. When it is our time, it is our time. I resolved that dying in uniform, for a noble cause-even if it is repairing teeth of foreign soldiers was good enough. Once the fear of death subsides-then living is easier and then one tends to worry about those who struggle with what is happening. Ed was the man to volunteer to make people feel better. I am sure he would have made a difference in Afghanistan or Iraq. He made a difference in two weeks with me and was a most pleasant man.

God bless you Major Caraveo- and bless your family too. Your life is an example of courage and strength. I only wish I had paid attention to your loss sooner. It was opportunity to understand more deeply the loss of a great man sooner and pay my respects.

Every saint has a past.....

2009-12-10T20:34:00.000-08:00

I once heard the statement that "every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." I believe that those words are true and that the meaning for us is to be cautious regarding judgement and recognize that pride and arrogance will not serve us well. I have had many chances to observe people in my life and career. I am amazed at how often I am completely wrong about my first judgements regarding people. If we were less self absorbed and would listen to others in an authentic fashion, we would find that everyone wants to be treated with dignity and kindness.

I believe in redemption. I love stories where a person steps up and comes through to do something amazing. James Braddock in "Cinderella Man", an awesome film, a more amazing story. A story of sacrifice and redemption. When he goes to the welfare office and pays back what he used when in need- I am amazed. I feel that recognizing that people are teachable and redeemable is important for all of us to realize. I saw a mother today in the office who adopted a 14 month old child. She has wanted to be a mother for a long, long time. She has adopted this child for three weeks and she was beaming. I could see and feel the happiness-everyone could in the office. I hope she finds joy in her life as a mother. Hopefully she has brought a desire in her life to fruition. It is good for her and the baby. Redemption and fulfillment glowed from her smile.

I write in my journal regularly and a line that is commonly written this past year has been; "I hope I never forget how I feel at this time in my life." In a new city with a new practice, in a near economic disaster also known as the 2009 Vegas economy. I am proud to be standing and have my practice growing. I am proud to see medicaid patients and go to the ER's at night to see kids in pain. I gladly will do the dirty work to build my practice and serve all comers. If I can keep my energy and educate my patients- I will build a super practice. I am building a super practice and work with great people. I will never stop taking medicaid. Who needs care? The kids need care and I have never met a child that chose their parents dental insurance. I know that life is challenging for most people, including me. Just a man, just a father, just a soldier. I can build or I can be sarcastic and judgmental. Which one of those will serve me the best? Which is more skillful and christlike? I know the answer and now if I can remember who I really am and forgive myself and others. My life will be truly blessed. I have a past and I am not a saint- I know also that I control my future. It is truly up to me!

Choosing How to Respond to Unplanned Events

2009-12-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

As I sat in a two hour traffic jam last night I had an amazing experience. I was driving from SLC to Las Vegas after a stop to see my son in St. George. It was dark , windy and cold on I-15 when traffic stopped dead, all lanes. After a few moments I watched as people got out and looked ahead and then began to ask others what was happening. I had no idea what or where but I knew there was no alternative route to my house. I knew I was waiting as long as it would take. I had a feeling like I was in a sci-fi movie as the lights turned off and the interstate was a parking lot in the dark.

Some Air Force guys were tossing a football and then actually hit some golf balls on the desert. They took photos and laughed. I wondered who in the jam might be out of gas, need a restroom or miss their show in Vegas. I called my brother- he checked the internet and said there was nothing showing on the traffic reports. After thirty minutes I was glad I had heated seats and a good book. I turned the XM radio from techno to classical music, as I consciously decided not to get angry or wound up. I know people who would be miserable sitting for even two minutes or would be swearing about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Often the glass is not half full or half empty, to some it is half full of the wrong damned thing. Sometimes a chance to have a sit and some time to ponder uncertainty is not a bad thing. We can learn by being mindful of how we feel and act in such circumstances.

I knew I was going to get home late, but I knew I could sleep a bit later in the morning if needed. It was not so bad-just strange. We are used to driving as fast as we can and getting where we want to be unimpeded. I continued to read and breathe deeply. After a while I saw tow trucks and I figured it really was an accident. After about two hours- the lights began to flicker on in the distance. I finally kept the trend going and started the truck. It was like doing the wave in a stadium. I was finally moving-barely moving. Another 20 minutes of idling slowly I could see police lights and a major accident scene. Police cars, fire trucks and a scene that earlier must have been total chaos.

What I saw as I came up to the scene was a car in the middle of the right lane, burned to the frame. No tires, doors gone-just a shell. I saw another car that had rolled over, sitting on its top, off the road. It was an awful scene. I rolled past and found myself feeling emotional about the view. I wondered about the five W's- who, what, where, when and why? I hoped that the people in the cars were not hurt badly. I have to believe that people were badly injured or killed. I hope lives were not lost by trauma or fire. I felt an upwelling of compassion for the victims and the responders. The sadness must have been amazing-compounded by cold and isolation. If I had come on the scene could I have helped? I hope that compassionate people stopped and assisted those in need. This accident happened in a bad spot-waiting 30 minutes or more to put out a fire or get emergency medical care- just awful. As I rolled away, I silently prayed for those who had their lives changed last night.

As I pulled onto the off ramp in Vegas and pulled into my garage I was tired and did not unload my truck. I walked in, turned up the heat and went to bed. I was still thinking about who was affected in the accident and how badly. I wondered how families and lives changed. I was glad I did not get a call saying my child was injured or worse. We all owe God a death-I know that. But my comfort comes in knowing that God has a purpose for all of us and we are redeemable. My mental comfort came as I lay between cold sheets, and I fully realized and was aware that staying calm and compassionate to the needs of others was and always is a good thing. Always bad news for those in the accident. Compassion is always good for my soul. It is important to stay calm and be mindful of the suffering of others. I could not change the outcome of the accident scene I witnessed last night. I could control how I handled my thoughts and my responses. I could also control my feelings for those who suffered. A small lesson for some-a huge lesson for me.

May all on the earth seek peace and calm for their souls. May we practice patience and lovingkindness to others, even those we do not know. It may be us causing the traffic jam and how would we want to be treated in our time of great need.

When I Know Life is Good

2009-12-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

I am a blessed man, I have a great job and great children. I also know that some times are more difficult than others. I have always lived with a belief that it is "better to die on my feet, than live on my knees." I work hard to be focused on my patients and career and yet I recognize where I am unskilled. I find that often I am hard on myself and do not look at where I am strong and valuable.

I talk with people daily and share encouragement and health advice. I love working with young families and taking kids through treatment in a kind manner. I think I am good at my profession.

I also know that I am not the finest accountant, teacher or son. I am focused on improvement and realize that in my mid-forties my chances of change are dwindling. BUT, I am not out, I am not a quitter and I am capable of change. I am committed to quality reading, learning and personal development. I will never give up on the process of learning.

Tomorrow I leave for SLC to be the keynote speaker for a dental conference for about 200 dentists. I have ten hours to share and teach and put my practice philosophy into meaningful nuggets that can be taken home to dental practices to change the way kids receive treatment.

I am amazed at the offer from the DREA and my friends to hear from me. I have something to say and it is about compassion and non-judgement, kindness and love. It is about seeing families and children as they are and as they can be. Children can be great and incredible-and treated with respect they assist with making a career great and a life worth waking up and going to work with a smile.

The greatest things in life are not things. They are relationships, encounters, when a spark of greatness is recognized. It is the gleam of the eye of the disabled child- it is when perfection is witnessed. I will need God to be patient with me as I muddle through fearful or unpredictable times. I know I have a good thing going, I have great employees and wonderful friends. I have what I need to succeed in life. the question is can I simply be happy with that knowledge or will pride get a hold on me- I want simple, compassionate and focused life. I think I have a grip on it and a focus that makes me feel good and calm. Positive change is still possible, it always will be unless we give up. No way am I giving up-don't you!

I love Salt Lake City

2009-11-22T22:50:00.000-08:00

As I sat with my screen door open on a quiet Sunday in late November, I was checking out the news from Salt Lake on the web. It was snowing in SLC and I was in Las Vegas. I would love to sit by a fire and watch the flakes drop and stack up outside. I would love to see the Wasatch Mountains when the storm passes- they are truly beautiful. I then turned on ESPN for Sportscenter and the major league soccer championship game was being played in Seattle. Real Salt Lake vs. David Beckham and the LA Galaxy.. It was in the final seconds before going to penalty kicks. I was proud it was "a game," knowing how hard Real Salt Lake has played. When the final kick was done, Real Salt lake had won-and my Salt Lake pride was full. I am not a big soccer fan-but I was tonight. This win will be good for Salt Lake and for the team.

I grew up in SLC. I went to the University of Utah and then left for Virginia Commonwealth University and on to University of Iowa. I answered a lot of questions about Utah and being a mormon. Many acted like they could not understand why anyone would live in Utah. I knew why and badly missed the Provo River brown trout and early morning skiing. I missed the sense of community and the excellent medical care. I missed hunting and cycling in the mountains and I missed my Dad.

I live in Las vegas and do not know my neighbors. I live in Vegas and feel a stranger in a strange land. People here are pretty much from somewhere else and often treat others poorly. Don't get me wrong, there are tons of quality people here, I am looking to meet them all. I finally found a doctor- they say if you want the best healthcare in Vegas- you go to McCarran Airport.

I love that Vegas is a 24 hour town, I love that SLC is not. I really have been happy wherever I have lived and yet I smile when the Runnin' Utes are winning or the Jazz do well.

Vegas is where I live- Salt Lake is my home. I have heard that every Utahn has an inferiority complex and they always apologize about why they live in SLC. I hear that the reason California will not fall into the Pacific Ocean is because Utah sucks so bad. I disagree. I think conservative religion has a role. But I also know that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. I try to be a saint and I live in Sin City-but SLC is wonderful and snowy and upbeat and educated and has a sense of community-as well as a symphony and Opera Company. I do get back to SLC often and yet look forward to good years in Vegas. I will ride my motorcycle and barbecue outside this week-oh yeah and I won't have to shovel six inches of warmth to get out of my driveway.

I am proud to be a Utah Man- a Ute fan and yet I enjoy teaching at UNLV and love our residents. I am not home tonight but it doesn't mean that my mind doesn't wish to hear the crunch of snow under my feet and see the frosted place I am proud to be from-Salt Lake City, UTAH.

BASF

2009-11-16T20:39:00.000-08:00

There is a TV commercial, usually on Sunday morning news programs for a company called BASF. Their slug line is "we don't make things, we make them better". I realize that seems obscure and odd and yet it is what they do-make things better. As I ponder those people in my life that represent the best of the best, the ones who don't make my life, they make it better, I am amazed at who and how others show up for me. I do believe that God blesses us most often through other mindful people. I also understand that being grateful to those who step up and show love and support is important. If we look closely we will see those who love us up close and those who love and pray for us from a distance. I can appreciate all who observe and have input in my life and for sure, those who make it better.

My dad, a gentle and simple man. He will never read this blog, he doesn't go for computers. He is a man who never pushes his way and yet is often focused on being charitable to those in need. he shows kindness to his family members that would tax me. That has been his modus operandi for decades. He may not know what I do day by day-yet I am stronger having had him to love and serve. He does not impose his will, he speaks simple truth and he is a man of faith. BASF.

Denny- BASF- I think there are few more committed souls on this planet who focus on improving everything they touch. She improved my office and managed it well for six years. And when I went to Iraq the first time she ran the practice, with many fine volunteers. The second time I went she did it again and took my 17 year old son into her home and family. And on top of it all she forgave my reckless behavior and words. Words and behavior that needed repentance.

Frustration and sadness can lead one to make bad choices-I did and my lessons were clear and I became a better man. Because of kindness and forgiveness from Denny, a woman who speaks the truth to my heart- BASF- She doesn't make me, she makes me better.

Examples and more examples- long suffering and working through chronic illness or hard times. We never know to what degree we can influence the lives of others, unless we mindfully seek to be kind and compassionate. I watch my friend Vince as his mind slips a bit more monthly away into Alzheimer's Disease. He has been good to me and he is his family's biggest fan. I am amazed at the indignity of aging, illness and loss of function that he is going through. I thank and honor his friendship-a BASF guy. He will be served and loved by a BASF family and a wonderful wife. What trials shall come, we do not know. I am sure that he will be loved and served as he has loved and served.

We often worry far too much about how things look in our lives. What the person drives or where they go to church. How about we focus on how it all feels. Why don't we cut to the heart of the matter and live what feels good and correct for us. When in survival mode in life-how it feels is all that matters. SO, when we get the chance to BASF someone else-tell them how they make you feel, make them feel better and richer for having known you today. We do not have to make the day, we should simply make it better. BASF!

Fear

2009-11-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

I am always amazed by how we can worry about things and they never come to pass. I am also one who has to constantly keep my life in order to avoid reckless living and thus eliminate most of my worry. I am reminded of a story, I think told by Jack Kornfield, my favorite Buddhist writer. It goes as follows-A monk was on a long journey by himself and he came to a swollen, raging river. After thinking the situation out, he built a strong raft and crossed the river. He got to the other side and rested from the crossing. After his rest he picked up the raft and began on his journey with the raft on his back. The wood was heavy and waterlogged. His progress through the countryside slowed and he had to rest often from exhaustion. Eventually he collapsed and died of exhaustion with the raft on his back. The monk had no map with him and just had basic provisions to get to his destination. He died of exhaustion with a raft on his back-for fear that he would need to cross another flooded river. He did not even know if there was another river to cross.

When we cling to things we get burned, when we let go we are free. The monk let his fear of crossing another river take him down. We all face our raging rivers and many we have to cross alone. Can we let go of what we worry about and cannot see and go lightly on our journey? Can we apply skills that allow us to understand that we can build another raft or there will be a bridge ahead- rather than die of exhaustion from being burdened. I know that conflict and major challenges await. I can take a breath and face them head on or I can worry, bury my head in the sand or cling to what makes me happy- it might just be exhaustion from toting my rafts of worry. Suffering is optional in life-easy to understand and so, so much harder to apply.

Lucky Man

2009-11-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

Veterans Day 2009- I am honored to be a combat veteran. To even be in the company of true warriors putting it all on the line. I am impressed when I meet a young soldier and the family that sends them away to fight enemies, foreign and in the US. I wish these young soldiers understood the price of a salute. When I am saluted by a soldier, I do not think of how glamourous it is to be an officer. I think of the fact that I owe him or her quality leadership, kindness and total commitment to making their career as a soldier the best I can make it. I will serve them with all I have and will never leave a fallen comrade. I will teach them, fight for them and kill for them if necessary. That is my job as a leader.

I am humbled that Israeli military officers take their oath at Masada. The symbolism is amazing as they know they will never back down or cower in the mission in which they are assigned. I see quality in our military, I see a respect for others, for country and to God. I love my experience in Iraq, I got own to what really mattered in my life. Not a big mortgage or Mercedes, it is about serving, accountability and protecting the soldiers in our command. As well as showing that we are honorable and paying attention to what matters. That lesson is not ever going to be lost on me-I am a changed man- for the better.

Every man dies eventually, few men live!- Wm Wallace. I don't know when my time is up, but I do know I have lived. I stepped into a place that makes many uncomfortable, twice. I know what hell looks like, I have been there. I would go again without hesitation! I will go to the edge of my comfort zone because that is where life truly begins. Being a soldier is not easy, but it is a joy. This is why I am honored to be a veteran. I am an American soldier!

2009-11-04T14:35:00.000-08:00

I met a homeless young man named Alonzo today. He bounces from house to house and lives with friemds and relatives. He did not graduate from high school and he had a job at Dominos Pizza at one time. He is covered with tattoos and is eighteen years old. He just might scare some people with his appearance. He has had three teeth aching for several weeks-keeping him up at night. Ice packs, Ibuprofen day after day to stop suffering, To all who might look at him and judge, most would be completely wrong-at least today.

I got the call from a physician who Alonzo's aunt works for and Alonzo entered my office a half hour later. I took x-rays and examined a mouth that has been neglected for sure. The x-rays showed the problem areas and he was in agonizing pain. I consulted with Jeff, my oral surgeon neighbor. Luckily Alonzo had not eaten and was healthy to be sedated.
Twenty minutes later Alonzo was under IV sedation and had his infected teeth out. Jeff went on to other things and as Alonzo was waking he was crying. A proud 18 year old needs to be cool, no crying, however people do it all the time waking up from sedation or surgery. He said the tears were tears of joy. Tears of joy as he had suffered badly for a long time. I told him to send Jeff a note of thanks and out the door he went. Saying thanks to everyone he saw.

I know Jeff did not get paid for this, it cost him money and time. Thanks Jeff. Alonzo's aunt has sent us many patients in the last year. Thanks for the patients that keep my practice healthy. As Alonzo left, face streaming with tears of joy. I thought about the difference between tears of joy vs. tears of sadness. I believe that tears of joy and gratitude are far more cleansing than tears of sadness. If gratitude is the key to abundant living, the majority of our tears should be in thanks, to God, to friends, family and to those who step aside to be of kindness to others.....like Alonzo.

Noises

2009-11-03T21:12:00.000-08:00

I am often so plugged in to the media that there is seldom quiet in my life. At 5:30 am-1.079 FM rocks into my ear and usually only plays a song or two. I shut it off in order to turn on the morning TV news. I am a news junkie for several reasons. Politics, crime, technology and two wars always make me interested to see the headlines. I remember watching the Columbine footage, the 9/11 event I was in the operating room for eight hours and yet rushed to the recovery room to see what was new. During these moments I am glued to the TV. How many of you remember Baby Jessica? I think she is a mom by now. I also think that some massive change will certaily be historical and I need to be there to witness it. That Sully Sullenberger, who laid the plane in the river-how can I not think him a total stud.

I listen to XM radio in the truck to work, no commercials from classical to techno-depending on my mood and how much wake up the caffeine gave me. At work I check the schedule on computer and then listen to Pandora radio or 101.9 FM from Salt Lake City over the web. Sometimes there is music on in the office and it has to be loud enough to drown out the TV in the waiting room.Oh, I forgot Fox news, CNN or ESPN in my personal office as I answer phones or make notes to my self.

At lunch I eat at the computer and check up on the news. I am amazed at how crime occurs and how people can be so cruel to others. So much misery, it is amazing any of us get along.

When patients are done I complete my clinical notes to alternative music streaming in my speakers. Should a 45 year old love the Foo Fighters as much as I do? To my truck and more XM radio. I love XM and will never be without it if possible. I take back streets and don't care about traffic. I love to boom the concertos of Rossini and Mozart. The classics calm my soul and ease my grip on the wheel. A massage would be perfect after work-ahh, the new age music is soothing that they play.

Back home, dinner and TV news or sports rule the evening. I may read or review email but I seldom sit in the quiet when I get home from work. MASH reruns, travel channel in Kraplakistan......I'll watch. Bed by 11:00pm, the local news starts at 11:oopm in Las vegas and I cannot sleep without knowing what is happening, good or bad. I set my alarm and push sleep mode on my TV remote, Conan O'Brien starts at 11:30 and I can't miss his monologue. I seldom get through the first half hour of Conan and drift off to sleep, my earpiece to my police scanner ready to go in one ear if insomnia shows up. White noise-relaxing with the possibility of a cool car chase or crazy event. The fade to black rolls in and it seems only like seconds and the alarm rocks loudly and it is time to start the cycle again. Only tonight I wake up in the middle of the night and realize I am dreaming that I am totally overstimulated.

The Bhuddists are so correct about the power of thought in a quiet and calm mind. I have to fight the noise in my life. I have to work daily for quiet moments in my life. Little kids rule in the office all day long, loud noise and rattling of toys, as well as endless parental conversation and teaching should make me crave quiet and calm. I think some of us are afraid of the quiet. Afraid of not knowing the newest breaking news. I love to sneak outside at lunch with a book, sit in the sun or the car and read. I love to read and enjoy the stage of my imagination, rather than the big or small screen. I'm reading around 400 pages a week. Really, devouring books-not novels, non-fiction about history and people of quality. In fact, I think it is time to turn off the TV and go read......in silence. If I can shut off my racing mind.

Cool Summer Army Mission Bavaria

2009-10-30T00:29:00.000-07:00

Judging the Beggar

2009-10-29T23:29:00.000-07:00

In summer 2004 I was in Central America on a two week humanitarian dental service mission. It was very well done and yes, put on by the finest dental company in the Army Reserve, the 143rd, out of Salt Lake City, Utah. In Golfito, Costa Rica on a rainy cool morning I had a special interaction that made my trip, and kept my idea of how kindness should look from behind the eyes of this spoiled American. I say spoiled because I complain and think I suffer, I don't!

I was in line with jeeps and trucks on the way out of town to examine kids in public schools and take out abscessed teeth. I was in the back of a jeep with a small plastic top with another dentist talking about life and contemplating the beauty of the rainforest. From the corner of my eye I saw movement from under a patio on the cafe side of the station.

A 20'ish latin male had been sleeping or out of the weather and he looked dirty and tired. He had long hair, had not showered and looked ragged. He had a palsy and looked as if he had a fetal brain injury or had mild cerebral palsy. He walked up to me and said two words, Colonnes Gringo?

I should tell you that I cashed 750.00 American into Costa Rican Colonnes in Houston. I always keep money to assist people who paid bus fare to stand in line for hours to see a foreign dentist who will take them out of pain. I always over prepare for trips and go home with too many souveneirs. Back to the encounter. I pulled out a coin worth 100 Colonnes and gave it to him, he said thank you. As he hurried across the street toward a store, the friend next to me named Dave stated that " that guy will go buy alcohol with that"! I did not think about it as we moved one more vehicle up in line, one government credit card = one gas pump for five trucks.

I saw this young man walk back toward us and he had a banana or a plantain in both pockets and was pushing one in his mouth as if he was very hungry. I looked at Dave and thought. alcohol? I would have said "look" but did not need to,we both saw him, big smile on his face.

He walked over and in Spanish thanked me again. I got an interpreter, got out of the vehicle and talked with him for a minute or so. I pulled out several 1000 Colonnes bills and gave him a few bills. While standing in the mist, he took the money and held my hand and said "Gracias, gracias, gracias"! He then hugged me and then clung to me and fell to his knees and held on for a moment or two. I was in full BDU uniform in a gas station, this must have looked very odd. He stepped up and crawled back under to his space under the patio. I do not know who watched or cared- the only words I heard later were that I was "crazy, foolish and wasting my money'.

We got back in and drove away. I could smell the body odor, it was pungent. I knew I did not have a washing machine but I did have shampoo and a pool at the hotel, at the end of the day. As the day went on I got used to the smell of the nameless man. I could not get him off my mind and two days later had a chance to go back to the gas station in Golfito, I wanted a photo next to this man who taught me a profound lesson. No luck.

I wrote about this experience in depth that night. I washed off the smell and moved on in my life. I came back to plumbing and kids and abundant living. I pondered about the man, the fruit and wondered if I could have done more. I had the cash, I had the intent for spontaneous kindness and I could have cared less what he bought with it. Bananas or food in general OK, but the gift came when my heart and mind made the decision to share. The Colonnes bought him a meal and then several more. I have paid full tuition for several hours of long lost information. I spent well the day I chose to give money to this guy. I learned a profound lesson from him about gratitude. Dollar for dollar- a superb lesson in life. Alcohol or food, the lesson was for me. The best souvenir I brought home was a memory........and a lesson to remind me that the greatest things in life are not things. Trust, charity, non-judgement =skillful living. Blessings wherever you are young man. I hope you are pain free, warm, fed and loved.

Bleeding to Death From a Thousand Paper Cuts

2009-10-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

The statement, "Bleeding to death from a thousand paper cuts" is something that I have thought of often in the last while. While I realize it is not the big things that get us, it is the additive nature of the little things that can make us suffer the most. I have witnessed the challenges of the economy in 2009 through unique glasses. For example: A bankruptcy attorney in Las Vegas has commercials showing the people so happy that they declared bankruptcy with Frank. I heard a six year old child tell his mom to "do bankruptcy with Frank" when she said they were not going on vacation this year. Simple, spontaneous and innocent. I see children who routinely watch media that is too far advanced and socially inappropriate for them. The consequences are entitlement, disrespect and unrealistic views of social interaction. The long term issues may be severe in many cases. It is not the knockout blow, it is the details that catch us like body punches and wear us out.
I wonder as I drive and observe people, if they are satisfied with life, comfortable or suffering. I seek simplicity and quiet in my life. My life is a gift and as I see it I should be accountable and sensible. Why would I even think that credit card debt would even be a okay thing? Why is it so difficult to live within our means? Why don't we save more and pay cash for what we buy? I believe that Americans often feel that nothing bad will ever happen to them. It does, and in many ways like a hurricane or slowly like making minimum payments on a credit card. When jobs lay off workers or health problems arise- the paper cuts continue and we know we are bleeding, but the bleeding is not so bad, it will stop soon. Then the flu hits and a week is missed off work, followed by need for a new washer or transmission. The sense of being out of balance comes and more paper cuts slice us up. They aren't that deep, "they always heal" rolls through our mind. Not me, I'm fine! Are we ever sure?
When we get out of balance, we either seek to get balance back or give up, adapt to chaos and run from our challenges. This is unskilled living. I have belief that if we face up to small challenges that we have control over daily, we will have fewer of the insults that can defeat our fighting spirit. When we get down it is easy to turn to drugs or alcohol, which cost money and make the problems worse. They are classic avoidance mechanisms-what do we have to avoid if we work smartly to stay ahead of bills and have surplus in case of emergency. This sounds harsh to many I am sure. It is common sense and yet so painful for many to even think about. There are many things that will make us uncomfortable that we truly don't have to suffer about. Suffering is truly optional.
I have wondered how much time and energy I have spent worrying rather than helping myself. I am positive that thousands of dollars have gone to interest on loans and credit cards. Now as I look at it I would never choose to pay that again, ever. If I want to change I should start by seeking balance and frugality. My goal in the practice of dentistry for children is to educate and have parents prevent oral problems. Their best dental insurance is education, daily work and saying no to their child's unhealthy food and drink choices. Prevention of any problem is far grander than any repair! The small good choice adds up just like the small bad one. Making the daily effort to pay attention and not stick our heads in the sand is skillful living. (Thanks Dave S.)
If you are down, start by focusing on what make you down. Sit quietly and focus on details. Write down what can change our look and approach to difficult circumstances. What will prevent rather than create the little problems that add up to huge things. Then if by chance we get ahead, stay ahead and live with gratitude. The big things we often focus our fear on are always there. It may be time to pay attention to the little things that can drag us down....like a thousand paper cuts.

U2 In Las Vegas

2009-10-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to attend the U2 concert last night in Las Vegas. I had the true blessing of benefitting from a great friend's generosity and kindness. I went with Jeff and two of his other friends and we had perfect seats for the show. My week had been a challenge and I felt very tightly wound after a two hour meeting with my accountants Friday morning. I needed to smile badly and feel the tension drop from my body.

The Black Eyed Peas were the warm up band and I did not know one song they sang for sure. They totally rocked. I mean they rocked!. I was all smiles from their music and I ended up familiar with most of the songs. The energy and rhythms with the chanting and rap portions were cool. During the break a pizza and beverage shows up- when Jeff quietly left. He is always far more giving than he ever recieves. A drunk woman a few rows back threw up and emptied rows of people. Loneliness defined, even her date walked away. It did not hit us thank goodness. What an event to miss due to being hammered. I watched as Metro arrested her and a janitorial crew came and cleaned it up. I will never, ever belittle a person who withstands the humiliation of cleaning up puke with angry concertgoers pushing to get into their seats for U2.

The spaceship stage lit up and Bono, The Edge, Adam and Larry stepped on stage and the rock began. This was a moving and beautiful show. Who is bigger than u2? Who is bigger than Bono? He is the ultimate showman and he never even said his name. He complimented his band mates and distinguished guests. He appears humble and complimentary. He is an amazing showman. I would love to meet him, to talk with him and meet a man who has incredible talent and who is a megastar that stays humble and gentle. He works endlessly for the people and the peace of the world and truly make things better. It was almost a religious experience-truly magnificent!

When they played "The City of Blinding Lights" it was beautiful! I had tears in my eyes because a year ago I moved to a city of blinding lights. Nothing has been easy here. I have been away from Denny-the one I love.( I wish she had been with me). I have truly been tested in a way I never dreamed of especially with this crazy economy. But last night I was smiling, I was dancing and very relaxed and happy. It was incredible! It was the fifth time I have seen U2. The first was in Washington DC with Jeff and my brother Scott. I thought that was also beyond words. Now 17 years later our lives have changed and we have aged. U2 has continued to entertain and change lives in the world. With great kindness and thought- Jeff changed my day and gave me a chance to smile and dance the night away. What band is bigger than U2? Come to think of it, Bono is big- so is Jeff.

Friends That Lift and Love

2009-09-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

I wish that every person on this fragile planet has someone to talk with and share good times. I have several wonderful friends but few, if any, that strike me more than Cory and Bob. I have had a few rough weeks and have struggled to keep balance in my life. Several changes in the last years and seeking to be a good father, boss, teacher, dentist etc, can take a toll on a man at times.

Cory called and invited me to dinner. Maple planked salmon, how could I say no. The meal was fantastic and yet the food for my soul was far more meaningful. My stomach was satisfied and my heart was overflowing from the kindness and encouragement from the Wayman family. As I sat and was presented with an amazing appetizer of BBQ meatballs I sensed the authentic warmth of Cory and Bob. When I was feeling a bit blue, they empathized and encouraged me. They literally fed my soul and body. Sharing how they overcame challenges and kept sane in the process.

Cory works next door to me at Dr. Moxley's Oral Surgery Office. I see her daily. I enjoy seeing her daily. She brings me breakfast when she doesn't need to, and sends patients my way all the time. When I remodeled my office they were there. Cory was pulling up old carpet and hiring workers to assist. She spared no effort or expense to show kindness to her neighbor. That in my opinion is the kindness that pushes one toward heaven. By the ways she has MS and many with chronic illness quit and feel sorry for themselves, NOT CORY.

I was hungered and they gave me meat. Cory and Bob fed my body and yet in their gentle kindness fed my soul ten fold. Bob gave me calm and fatherly advice- be calm and know that you have friends. I do! Cory and Bob served the perfect portions for body and soul. Doing the right thing at the right time. It is a true gift to make someone feel so valued and worthy. I think the good samaritan would have agreed.

Oh, How Lucky I Am

2009-09-18T22:38:00.001-07:00

I love the Travel Channel

2009-09-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

On a windy Sunday morning after two hours of reading, I turn on the TV and evaluate programs to allow me to sit a bit longer on the couch and relax. I used to go for the comedy, sports etc and now in my forties I gravitate toward the Travel Channel. In my mind, well worth the price of cable television alone. I love to watch Anthony Bourdain travel to amazing places and I truly love his commentary. It is sometimes dark and sarcastic, the meanings are funny and cutting. And yet remarkably authentic. I read two of his books and could not be happier that he is a man who beoming an icon. Cool and revered, if only by forty five year old men wishing they could travel for a living. As I seek to move on in my day comes Andrew Zimmern and Bizarre Foods. All I can say about him is that his enthusiastic approach to the most vomit evoking edibles puts me on edge regularly. And yet as he travels and interacts with people I am amazed at his kindness and gentility. I watch often for hours and get a wonderful cultural education in the process.

I love to watch Samantha Brown. She is charming and goes about travel in a pleasant way. I would love to see the cool places she goes in the interactive way that she does. Samantha makes the viewer feel comfortable and at ease. On the couch I feel like I am somewhere far away. Now I see the infamous Man vs. Food coming on. I wonder how Americans can watch while a man stuffs himself with the 6 pound burrito, the worlds hottest hamburger and enough to feed a neighborhood. Of course we have survivor shows that are filmed in places where people live. And to boot the contestants get a cash prize for surviving where others live!

When life is routine and day to day is just that- day to day. Hats off to the travel channel. I applaud the creativity to take people on trips and open cultural awareness of the viewers in their living room. I am certainly aging and maybe my choice of entertainment is a sign. Football, not today- I need the food channel and the latest 'Diners Drive Ins and Dives". On second thought I will go to the Nascar Cafe at the Sahara Casino and take my shot at the 6 pound burrito. No wonder a loving term for me, from my brother and good friend is calling me "fat bastard"- now is my chance to prove my mettle- does anyone know CPR?

Roots

2009-09-09T23:46:00.000-07:00

I have two shrubs in my front yard that appear to have died. I kept on watering them by hand and they kept on getting worse. I even fertilized them with Miracle Grow and they still suffered.

The other day my neighbor George showed me a tool that changed my perception of things and improved the health of my shrubs. It is a plastic and metal wand that attaches to the end of the hose. When the water runs it sprays down the long metal wand into the soil. The ingenious product by Ross, waters the roots and gets the water where it needs to be, down in the root complex. I have since watched as the plants have begun to green up and look better in this hellish heat. All of my plants look better after having water distributed at the roots instead of the surface soil. The wand even has a way to fertilize the root system. Good invention Mr or Mrs Ross.

As I stood in the twilight with the heat of the day over, I thought about how many personal shrubs in my life deserve a different approach. I deserve to look at my life differently and actually get to the root of the problems. From business to spiritual matters I need to assess my needs and be smarter about how I approach them. I also believe that God blesses us often through other people. My neighbor George, a small tip and a short demonstration changed the life of my plants and more importantly reminded me to approach life in a more skillful manner.

The Spirit of Volunteerism

2009-09-07T18:07:00.000-07:00

I got a text message from my brother Scott a few days ago that said " Dude, I'm off to E.S. Love you." I was again reminded about the great concept of "volunteers." I see the soldiers that I have served with in the Army and see the desire to step out of their comfort zone and go somewhere in the world and work. Seldom in the nicest of zip codes. Scott is a great person and a cool brother. He served his "mandatory reserve" two weeks for the Army in June and now is off to serve those who need dental care in the worst way.Because he wants to! He wants meaningful living. He signed up to serve in war zones twice and ended up in Fallujah- right in the middle of the Sunni Triangle. The worst place in the world to be in at that time. On a humanitarian mission to the Dominican Republic he served in schools all over the eastern part of the country. His section provided dental care with minimal security even with threats to their lives. He did not stay in camp, they went to work. He was leading soldiers and soldiers work in less than optimal circumstances.

The point is often overlooked that many of the professionals who serve in the Army Reserve Medical Corps are volunteers- to enrich their lives. They see a need and step up to say: send me and I will do the job and do it well. Some have laughed over the years that I am a pediatric dentist and why in the hell am I in the Army. Simply put, because I can [serve my country] and for the men and women next to me in the war zone or in a third world country. Do I need the Army money? Probably not- that is my business but I am blessed and I know it.

I was called to Iraq for the second time in the fall of 2007. My brother Scott was just home and he said there were two places in the south of Iraq I absolutely did not want to go to. One was Camp Bucca, a huge prison and the other was FOB Echo, because it was a very dangerous hellhole. I got Echo and went into service as the only American dentist there. I was honored to serve there. I went with an open mind and knew that I had sworn to be obedient to my command. I was satisfied because I was a volunteer. Isn't is superb to have choices!

Las Vegas

2009-08-29T22:35:00.000-07:00

I have lived in Henderson, Nevada for one year now. I am still longing for the summer temperatures to drop down into the livable zone. I do agree that the low humidity makes it more bearable. I will take 110 degrees over 90 degrees in San Antonio with the 70% humidity. I often wonder how anyone lived here prior to the advent of air conditioning. The upsides are many to living in the Vegas Valley. Riding my motorcycle nine months out of the year (not summer). Speeding through the endless desert trails and washes makes me feel alive without fail. Basketball at UNLV, clear skies all winter and having dinner with the people who do not want to return to "the weather".

When I decided to sell my practice in Salt Lake City it was not a hard decision. I had been told that I should come to LV by my friend Jeff and his father for years. If I had stayed in SLC, I would have always wondered what practicing in Las Vegas was all about. Sell a dental practice and find out what people really think of you. See who sends you a thank you note and see who refuses to pay their bill. It changes the way I run a business and yet I do not blame my kid patients, they are not accountable.

Granted, a move in midlife is unique for some people. Not for me. I needed to do this, I needed to experience life to the fullest and follow my vision. I can say I have not reached the point of surety that I 'love vegas" but I do know that I am happy here. It is different, just different and not all bad. I am blessed to amazing degrees and have wonderful kids- what is not to like. I will get used to sirens flying down the street several times a day. Even if I smile to myself thinking it is the "Nevada State Song" as a friend told me.

The answer to all who ask is "no", I did not lose a bet! I willingly moved to Las Vegas and plan to live here for a long time. And yes, I will not have to shovel twelve inches of warmth to get out of my driveway. Oh and by the way...... I only go to the strip to meet you for lunch!

Lies

2009-08-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

Why do people feel compelled to tell lies? I wonder how we can convince ourselves that a little lie is OK to tell. I spend all day with people and I have studied the physical signs of a person lying. I am astounded when I am sure I am being told a story and it is just alright with them. Why?

A Buddhist writer commented, " If I tell a lie, I am afraid of something. If I tell lies I am living in fear." I often wonder what I am most afraid of and why I am afraid of it. What would I lose by being fully honest and living with the consequences? I know I am deeply conditioned in my life and I am a result of my conditioning and yet when if ever is it Ok to tell a lie? Could I just remain silent or say none of your business? I found in the Army that admitting an error and following the admission with the magic words such as " No excuse, sir or maam" saves more headaches and often garners respect.

What will my excuses be at the judgement bar with the one who knows my experiences and my pains? I know it will do no good to lie in that circumstance! Yet I wonder if my savior is saddened when I lie to myself and act in a way I know I shouldn't? I know that I should be more sensitive to the truth in my relationship with myself and others. I have a hard enough time fighting my most dreaded foe-myself! And I know I don't have full control to change another persons behavior.

So, next time I am told that the two year old in my office is an excellent tooth brusher, I plan to be kind and know that there is nothing to gain from lying to me about your child's health. You have money, time and regrets as lessons for not choosing better. As for me I will continue to balance what matters and control what I can and seek an honest path for me. Because I have something to lose- that is my self dignity. Joe

Charity and Judgement

2009-08-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

While in Costa Rica in 2004, my Army Dental Company was doing a humanitarian dental mission to the area around Golfito, in the southwest corner of the country. While in line for fuel I was sitting in the back of a Jeep as we fueled several vehicles at a local gas station. While waiting a man climbed from under the deck on the edge of the station and approached me in the Jeep. I turned as he said "colones Gringo?"- he wanted money. As he walked toward us I noticed a hemiplegia with spasticity. He must have had a brain injury. I gave him several coins and he rushed off.

I then was engaged by a fellow Army officer who said that the guy will only buy alcohol with the money. He felt that I had wasted my money. Until I looked at the small store on the highway. I saw the man shoving a banana into his mouth and he had another in hand. As he approached the Jeep I was glad I shared. I got out of the Jeep and he got very close and said "Gracias". Then without thinking I opened my wallet and gave him a 10,000 colones bill. He looked with disbelief and wrapped his arms around me and fell to his knees. "Gracias, gracias" with tears pouring down his face. He then walked off and around the filling station.

I had a potent scent of body odor on my clothing the rest of the day. It was unpleasant and yet something that reminded me of my best encounter in Costa Rica. I had changed several hundred dollars into colones and had not spent very much at all. I fed a man and have no regrets at all. If he buys liquor- so be it. I am a much better man for responding to my spirit.

If we share with some person in charity, let us not judge. If you give, just give. Don't always expect a miracle from them, recognize the beauty of having extra to share. Our abundance is often taken for granted. We are all one car accident from death or disability. Please enjoy the moments to stretch and become more kind and generous. All my best, Joe

Opportunity

2009-08-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

http://www.opportunityisnowhere.com/ a facinating web address. I don't know if it is real but the lesson in the address is very real. Look at it again closely and do you see "opportunity is now here" or do you see "opportunity is no where?" I have always wondered about optimists and how they see life. I want to think I am an optimist and yet it is not always that way.

We have all heard that the glass is half empty or half full. Maybe some of us see the glass being full of the wrong thing no matter what. I would say that I am guilty of being unhappy by my own view and approach to living. I am in full control of being happy as well. Sometimes it is just a mix of just getting by. But I think we can all agree that success or failure depend on our view and how we approach our challenges. Skillful living is exactly that-a skill, obtained through hard work and forgiving ourselves of the errors.

The time to act for positive things to happen in our lives is when we feel the urge to step out and act. I have heard that "life begins at the edge of our comfort zone", and if we could all be like Jack Decrosta and feel the urge to act in kindness, we would all be far better off in the long run. Jack was visiting a children's shelter and saw a little boy with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. Jack fell in love and fought hard to adopt Sonny. I have the honor of knowing them and I see in Jack the quality and committment that stepping up and honoring our feelings gives us. He could have walked on by and wondered what Sonnys future would always be. Instead he saw the chance to step out of his comfort zone and behave bravely for Sonny. I know that through all of the surgeries and clinic appointments that this bond between them is truly wonderful.

As my son Brian starts his first semester of college this week, he has an opportunity. I pray that he recognizes the love that brought him to this point. I hope he stays strong in his decision making and has a wonderful experience. Brian, readers....www.opportunityisnowhere.com- you've got mail! Joe

Blog #1

2009-08-25T23:13:00.000-07:00

My name is Joe and I am a middle aged pediatric dentist in Las Vegas, Nevada. I am a blessed man. I have a great new practice and am in the United States Army Reserve. I chose the name of this blog because "combat dentist" was my radio handle in Iraq. I have been there twice and found the adventure and overall experience amazing. Going into a war zone to provide dental care is a humbling experience. I am told I am crazy to go to war but military service for me is about taking care of personal responsibility to serve the men and women serving. The young people are the true heroes, the people who stay for much longer than I do. The people who are out in combat and truly in the line of fire.

I wanted to share my ideas and philosophy of meaningful living. I am dealing with my son starting college today and a wonderful daughter that is a total joy in my life. I have had to learn many lessons the hard way. That is just how I have had to learn important things. I am also living a life that will be exceptional in my eyes and hopefully the eyes of others. I believe that "every saint has a past and every sinner has a future". I also believe that tolerance and patience with our fellow citizens is important for our own well being.

I know fear in my life and I do not live in fear any more. I see strong families of children with disabilities that I have the honor of providing dental care, I see love on a level that most of us will never know. They are true heroes, dealing with real 24 hour challenges and often not getting a break. I hope that the stories shared on this blog will inspire and give perspective to anyone who reads it. There is no agenda here, just a way to share thoughts and hopefully inspire people.

The title combat dentist is just different enough to stand out. Hopefully the content of the text will cause readers to return. Albert Einstein stated-"The highest destiny of the individual is to serve rather than rule". I hope you smile and find calm in your life. I invite your thoughts and feedback on this as this is very new for me. Joe